My husband cheated before we were married, need advice now?

I've been married to the man of my dreams for five years. This past week, I found out that he cheated on me during the first four months that we were dating. Not once or twice, but many times (10), with many women (7). During that time he led me to believe that our relationship was special and sacred. Although I had my suspicions, he always denied being unfaithful at that time, until recently, when I was finally able to get him to admit to what he did in the past. (I obviously felt something wasn't right, and was never able to let this go, even though 7 years had passed.) Now that the secret is out in the open, he is very, very sad and remorseful. He tells me, and I honestly believe him, that once he realized he was in love with me, all the cheating stopped, and he really has been a faithful and truly wonderful husband since.


I do trust him NOW, but I am having to deal with knowing how he betrayed me in the past. Just looking for some wisdom as to how to get over this.My husband cheated before we were married, need advice now?
Are you kidding me. He is the man of your dreams and he has been faithful and great husband for 5 years and you are torturing this guy over something he did the first 4 months --- 7 years ago. What is wrong with you that you feel you have to torture him with all this --- what sort of interrogation methods did you employ till you were finally able to break him and find something to torture him with.





My attitude if you were my wife --- you need some serious therapy --- think I am being harsh? -- go tell this story to a professional therapist --- they will be on the track of what is wrong with you, not what he did, in about 30 seconds flat.





Good luck!My husband cheated before we were married, need advice now?
Your problem is that you believe too easily. He's remorseful because he got caught and his feelings are hurt. Nothing to do with your feelings. That fact that you are asking this question, tells me that you will accept his behavior and still be whining about him in another 5 years.
There is no trust anymore. Do you think he is remorseful, or is he ';sad'; that you found out? He was willing to live the lies forever. Is that love?





I can tell you this: that through prayer and with divine intervention, he can truly change.
Personally, I would not be able to get over it at all. I would probably leave him. But I have no children either. I would feel like our complete relationship was built upon lies. You should ask Dr.Phil.
After cheating with 7 different women, he nows realizes it was wrong. Yeah okay, whatever.
Let it go. If you trust him now and truely love him don't live in the past. You will NEVER be able to change it. Men by nature were meant to have multiple sex partners until they find THE ONE. If you truely are the one resign yourself to knowing you will always be THE ONE. Love him and let it go. Tell him you love him and that it doesn't matter anymore and never speak of it again. Your marriage will suffer if this is a constant topic. I told my husband I never wanted to know who he was with before we got married. If he cheats after that is different. Believe me a woman knows when her husband cheats. Love is very powerful and if you teruely love eachother then move on and be happy. Not everyone has a happy marriage if you do keep it that way.
If you trust him now what's the big deal??? You are living in the past. IF he was still cheating then you have every right to be upset. You needed to know and now he told you. ARe you willing to destroy what you now have because of the past? It's the present and the future you need to look forward to not your past. At least you will know the signs and symptoms if he ever did it again.
its going to make you feel like crap but if you found out at the begining you proberly would not be to gether for him to tell you now must mean that he is settaled with you because it so long ago dont worry to much .ive just accused my girl freind of cheating im regreting saying any thing im in nots good luck
There is life before marriage so chalk this up to that and be thankful you have him now and move on or this will eat at you forever and will eventually destroy what you two have. Let it die. Good luck
Divorce him
You trust him now?!?! LOL You want someone you can trust adopt a dog. If you trusted him you wouldn't be on this site asking your question. I'm alive 45 years and I have never met a man that doesn't cheat. Having said that if he is the man of your dreams and you love him and he takes care of you keep forgiving him no matter what. Why??! Because if you leave him the next man will cheat on you too or worse. You don't think it can be worse. Most women don't. Go to a home for battered women and take a look around. Grow up and get over it. Welcome to reality. The idiot women on this site will give you other answers, believe what you want. All their men cheat on them too!!!
Know that your husband was a tramp when you met him.





In ALL honesty, I personally do not put any weighting on a relationship for the first few months, and I am a woman. Men are FAR better at compartmentalization, and that is simply what your boyfriend at the time was doing.





He married you, period.





Maybe you need some therapy to move on....
I'm going to play the God card here for it is the only way for you to find peace again.


The issue is not about fault or failure, but about forgiveness. Saying - ';I'm sorry'; does not cut it in the world of forgiveness. Being sorry does NOTHING to help the person that was wronged.


Your husband can say ';I'm sorry'; a hundred times (and I'm sure he has!) and it does nothing for you. (read your words!) It's all about forgiveness.


Since you and 90% of all people don't know HOW to do this, I will tell you.


You have to go to your husband and ASK him to forgive you for harboring this contempt and negative attitude against him.


';Honey, I need to ask for your forgiveness for how I've treated you and not believed what you have told me. Will you forgive me?';


In doing this, you have placed ALL the power back into his hands to either say yes or no. ';Yes'; and the chains that are binding you will be released and your relationship will move towards a new place. ';No'; and the chains of unrepentant, unforgiveness will be released from you and bound unto him. You will not have these feelings anymore - they will be a full burden on him .


In doing this exercise, perhaps he will get the picture and come back to you and ask you for forgiveness for what he had done. Then, you have the option of accepting or denying him. And the chains will ............do what?


Get out of the habit of saying the ';sorry'; word. It's stupid and worthless without the forgiveness words.


Your new life is before you. I'm sorry for treating you in a juvinile and incompetent manner.


';Will you forgive me?';
The past is the past. You are giving it power. Stop feeding it with your negative thoughts and emotions. It will only grow bigger if you feed it.





If you trust then trust. Let it go. Forgiveness is a great release. It is very freeing.
You need to have better dreams.
What was in the past should stay in the past. It was before he committed to you so you should certainly not be upset about it 7 years later.





Give the man a break and get on with your lives.








Good Luck
Sometimes , dwelling on the past can hender your future to be happy. But just be straigth forward with him . And let him know you want tolrate cheating at all . If he feel he needs to cheat %26amp; then he need to move on. DON'T BE A FOOL,!


It will hurt once you seperate. Just pray And be strong.
you know, hes isnt sorry for his actions so much as he is sorry he got caught