For the married couples..advice for soon to be newlyweds?

alright my co worker and I have been having an on going debate...we are both getting married. She is worried (well I got her a bit worried first..) about her husbands finances. He pretty much needs to file for bankruptcy because he is behind on student loans and medical and credit card bills. He stopped paying them because he figured he was already in deep so may as well go the bankrupt route. She has everything in her name (home, car, credit cards, insurance).





Anyways. I think it's a bad idea to commit to someone with a huge financial irresponsibility. I mean he is up in the thousands on the debt...


She argues that as long as they do not sign on anything together his credit will not affect her in any way.





I find this hard to believe.....thoughts??? I'm not trying to stop her from marrying him, but she asked for advice and I told her that in times like these it could be risky to join in marriage knowing he has big money problems that will take some time to get through.For the married couples..advice for soon to be newlyweds?
Congrats!





Blue's right, once she marries him, it becomes her debt, just like her fortunes become his as well.


It's not just about finances, if he so carelessly takes care of things, how is he supposed to put any effort into a marriage?


ouch!


Your friend is in big trouble with a soon-to -be- sponge!!!


He may be adorable but he will destroy her.


Tell her to ask him to get credit counseling or debt consolidation, and maybe they have a chance.. but your right to be concerend..For the married couples..advice for soon to be newlyweds?
It's not a good idea at all. I assume they're already living together, so what's the rush to get married? She will inherit his debt and then she will be in financial trouble too. Besides, if he isn't fulfilling his past obligations, what makes her think he will fulfill future ones (like marriage vows, for example)?
Why is he in such huge financial debt? If it is something like a medical problem, that is a one-time thing that can happen to anyone. If he is in debt because he is spending money he doesn't have on fancy cars, vacations, and designer clothes, then that may cause problems for her down the line.
She should run away as fast as she can. The number 1 marriage killer is money and they are starting out on death row. It really has nothing to do with the ';times';, regardless of the economy stay away from people that cannot control their spending, it gets worse with age not better. Once they are married his debts become hers.
his debt is not your debt.....see link below fyi
once she marries him, his debt becomes hers.
Oh dear, once they get married, his debt becomes her debt. I have been going through this as well. I had a couple old medical bills that added up to about $600 that I forgot about because I don't really use credit for anything. My fiance made me check my credit score after we got engaged because he has GREAT credit. We bought a house in his name and would like to buy a car after we get married. So my score was terrible. I just paid off those medical bills recently so they can be removed from my poor credit, at least as much as possible. It would have been irresponsible of me to expect him to take on my debt.
Then please, show her my answer. YES IT WILL AFFECT YOU. Even if they don`t sign for credit together doesn`t mean it`s not going to affect either of them. This is what most newlyweds don`t get...they think that they`re getting married to be together because they love each other and want to be together and form a family and love love is in the air all the time. It`s all true, but you also share money, and things, material things, and time and strength and everything! Marriage is about involving your partner in your problems and joys, not about ';ok, this is you, and this is me, but let`s do it under one roof';


Please, to your naive friend, let him resolve this situation first. You don`t want to get married with a person that has been irresponsible or that can`t get his act together financially. Some day she will be a mother, and he`ll have to take the finances and how will she ever trust him? If she`s even thinking on not mixing credits already, and they`re not even married!!!!!!!!!


THIS IS WHY DIVORCES COME UP SOOO SOON, BECAUSE COUPLES THINK MARRIAGE IS JUST A PIECE OF PAPER, IT`S MORE THAN THAT. SO MUCH MORE. IT`S EVERYTHING YOU OWN, WILL BE HIS. OH YES IT WILL EVEN IF YOU`RE SHAKING YOUR HEAD NO.
It really depends on how willing she is to put up with it and how much she is ready to take on. This is definitely something that the couple needs to sit down and discuss before marriage. Has he learned his lesson or will he rack up credit card bills and get himself into debt again? If he does is she ready to accept that she may have to bail him out? Can she afford to bail him out if necessary? Is he the type of person that just can't control their spending or was all of this debt necessary? If he's out blowing his money on junk he doesn't need then get out asap. Will it bother her one day that they have to keep their finances separate? Will she ever trust him with money enough to combine their bank accounts? It's going to come down to how much she's going to let this affect their relationship. It's really a personal choice, but one that really needs to be discussed.
Yes the debt becomes hers too. So she may want to wait and have him file bankrupt on his own. At least then her credit is still good. She just needs to be careful not to let him ruin her credit at the same time. Even though money doesn't buy you love it still makes up a lot of the glue that holds a marriage together.

lips

lips