Christians only please: My friend doesn't want to be married anymore. Advice?

She married a man that does not have a strong relationship with Christ. She knew that going into the marriage; in fact she even broke up with him once because she wanted to find someone who did. She went back to him because she was afraid she would never get married otherwise. They have only been married for 9 months and now she regrets that she can't share that part of her life with him. He hates going to church with her much less doing any other church activities. She loves being a camp counselor but she knows he would not enjoy that. She has been thinking about divorce. We both disagree with divorce in most cases and she especially does since her parents got divorced when she was a kid and she knows how that ruins families. She still loves him and considers him her best friend, but she just doesn't want to be his wife anymore. Read 1 Corinthians 7:12-16 and give me your feedback.Christians only please: My friend doesn't want to be married anymore. Advice?
The passage was what I figured it was -- the spot where Paul is giving guidance to new believers in Corinthia, who just converted while their husbands/spouses had not yet converted.





In that context, Paul was afraid that people would use their conversion as an excuse to break up their marriages; Paul said, ';No, you need to stay and make things work, unless your spouse decides they want to quit.';





The situation here is slightly different. Your friend was a Christian before she married a non-Christian.





Still, the principle holds: Regardless of why she made her commitment, she made it, and it's an honor to God for her to uphold it, and a breaking of faith to God for her to shun it. She made this decision and must stick to it.





I think what bothers me is the reason you've expressed for her decision to marry: She knew it would be a problem, she even left for awhile... and she went back not because she loved him, or because she felt God was telling her to marry him, but because she was ';afraid she would never get married otherwise.';





To state it bluntly: She married out of fear, out of insecurity, out of lack of trusting that God would care for her whether single or married, out of self-interest to some degree.





Her situation was, well, inevitable.





If I were talking to her directly, I would say it differently because I don't know all the details; but you will be the one who knows best how to advise her during this time, and that's the basic core of the problem as I see it.





What can she do now? I don't think it's glorifying to God for her to make this marriage commitment, then renege on it before the year is out. I think God wants to use her right where she is at, and it's up to her to discover what that means and rely on God to get through it.





I know her heart is hurting, and she realizes she veered off-course, and would like to take back her decision, but God doesn't renege on his commitments, and she needs to become a reflection God in this matter, so that her husband might see God better. Somehow she has to learn how to love a guy with different ideals than herself, who still made vows to her (and is thus committed) even as she committed to him.





It will not be easy. She will need your support, and support from others, to help her to continue to grow without her husband's support and to help her love him despite the fact they will argue about where the marriage is going and how she and he should spend their time. She will learn a lot about unconditional love, more than she ever wanted to know probably...





If she gives up now (and for the wrong reasons, I think, if your explanation was right), she will never deal with the heart problems that led her to commit to the marriage in the first place and will have to regain even more ground spiritually.





Give her a vision -- what can God do in this marriage? What does he see for her, and for her husband? What could her husband be if he chose to believe? What are his gifts, his talents, what is his heart like? How can she love him in a way that reflects the beauty and grace of God, even when he might not be serving her as much as she had hoped?





I speak partly from experience. My in-laws are in the same situation -- my MIL was always a believer, my FIL was always a sweet person but reticent and deals with lots of past hurt. My MIL never gave up on her marriage and continued to love my FIL despite his fear of belief. They just celebrated 40 years, and I have seen lots of subtle changes in him over the years. Her life might not have been everything she had envisioned at the beginning, but it has also been wonderful for her, she doesn't regret it, and she was faithful to her decisions and to God's calling in her life.





You can build a strong marriage even between two people who don't have the same beliefs, it will simply be more difficult and take more energy to maintain.





Again, I just encourage you to stick with your friend. She's going to need you to support, guide, and encourage her throughout this relationship, wherever it might end up going.





Blessings on you both.Christians only please: My friend doesn't want to be married anymore. Advice?
She needs to rethink her priorities. Sounds like she wants her way more than she wants to make her marriage work. I think divorcing on that ground is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard! If she gets this divorce she needs to become a nun. If she doesn't like that idea than it is truely a sign she just wants both and can't have it.
I'm sure she knows this by now but if the person doesn't change before marriage then they don't intend to change after marriage. The only thing that can help her situation is if God completes a change in him and God cannot and will not do that until her husband is willing. If you've read 1 Corinthians 7:12-16 it's very plain about what it says. It says don't leave you husband or wife if they don't believe. It says if he is an unbeliever she can't stop him from leaving, but if he does let him depart in peace. Then it closes with a question How do you know you won't be the connection which brings you spouse to Christ? What is there really to question?





Matthew 5:27 says, ';Ye have heard it said of the of old time, thou shalt not commit adultery';.





Matthew 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.





If you truly want to look at this from a Christian or scriptural point of view the only reason she can divorce him and remarry without committing adultery herself is if he has been caught cheating on her.





One can attempt to justify it anyway they want to but it will be God who makes the final judgment not any one of us. He clearly states in his word that no sin will enter into heaven. That includes adultery.





Matthew 5:20 For I say unto you, That except your righteousness shall exceed the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven.





Your friend has a choice to make. You can't make it for her, neither can anyone else. Choose this day whom you will serve, but for me and my house we will serve the Lord.
That's a very tough question. You already have the scripture. I have a couple questions.


1. Has he committed adultery?


2. Does she believe this is the man God intended for her to marry.


3. Has she asked the Lord in prayer and fasting?





My suggestion


1. Meet with her pastor


2. Out of the mouth of two or three let every word be established. Wait for confirmation.


3. Pray and fast





I heard the testimony of a lady who was married and after several years of marriage her husband ';came out of the closet';. She believed in her heart that the Lord did not want her to divorce him. She could have since he was with another man (adultery) but instead she chose to be obedient to the Lord. Years went by and he repented to the Lord and came back to his wife and he is now a pastor of a large church. but on the flip side...I know people who have divorced and it was the right thing too. Just walk through it carefully. Even if you make a mistake the Lord knows you truly want to do what is His will. Sometimes the hard road is the right one. It just depends.
First, the Bible said that the rigtheouness of the believer will save the unbeliever...(1 Corinthians 7:12-16) is she living in the righteousness of God, truthfully? Second, most people start off a relationship on lies and later expect the reward of truth from the lies, was that the case? Lastly, there is nothing impossible for God to do, has she humbly and prayerfuly asked the will of God to be done or like most people, is she telling God what He should do? The problem has absolutely nothing to do with church. Remember that you can't give anybody God. You can only help them discover God on their own. And it is not true that she still loves him as a best friend but not as a wife....it's like saying I love my kids but hate my wife or husband. Tell your friend to examine her conscience first and then petition God in love and humility.
In bible it is written its better to remain pure then then getting and impure life by getting married.God was not happy when Adam and Eve performed sinful actions of coming in lust.If Still we come back to God fear then it's sugestable tro remain a pure life without marriage.
well if she wants to be miserable, stay married, if she wants to break away from him, then get a divorce. Not like anything is sacred anymore...the divorce rate is sky high. It seems no one holds true the meaning of marriage and the vows one gives when they get married, ';Til death do us part.'; She wouldn't be the first and only one.
It would depend on the circumstances of their marriage. From what you have said, it would appear that there is no abuse and no unfaithfulness in the marriage, therefore she really doesnt have grounds for divorce. At least not according to the Bible. She knew him for this going into the marriage and yet she still chose to marry him so she needs to stay with him. Marriage is intended for life. She will for now have to accept attending church and activities without her husband. I know that is hard to do with church and faith, you want to share that with your spouse and I think when you have church and the lord in your marriage it is so blessed. Could your friend seek counseling from her pastor or a christian marriage counselor? Even if her husband won't go, it could be very beneficial for her to go and to her marriage.


';And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. {14} For the unbelieving husband is sanctified


by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband:


else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. ';


(1 Corinthians 7:13-14 KJV).


Ephesians 4:2-3 ';Be patient with each other making allowances for each other's faults because of your love. Be led together by the Holy Spirit to be at peace with one another.';


Matthew 5:32 ';But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to commit adultery, and anyone who marries a woman so divorced commits adultery.';
SHE MADE VOWS BEFORE GOD , AND SHE SAID IN FRONT OF HIM , FOR BETTER FOR WORSE , TILL DEATH DO US PART... IF SHE TRULY LOVES GOD THE WAY SHE SAYS THEN SHE WOULD LIVE UP TO HER VOWS , LIFE WAS NOT MEANT TO BE EASY THERE ARE ALWAYS STRUGGLES , SHE JUST NEEDS TO FIGURE OUT A WAY TO BE HAPPY ...
1 Peter 3:1- ';In like manner, you wives, be in subjection to your own husbands, in order that, if any are not obedient to the word, they may be won without a word through the conduct of [their] wives.';


Mark 10:11,12-';And he said to them: “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her, 12 and if ever a woman, after divorcing her husband, marries another, she commits adultery.”


Matthew 5:32-';However, I say to YOU that everyone divorcing his wife, except on account of fornication, makes her a subject for adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.';


You make it sound like there are kid's in the situation. Well, point being, it's her decision. But she needs to remember why she married him in the first place. Was it just so she could have guilt-free sex? Marriage is serious to God. She vowed before God to stay with this man till she died. If she breaks that vow, it's up to her. As long as he's not bringing her down in any way (abuse, etc.) I don't see why she should divorce. According to the Bible, God hates a divorce, but it's not the sin. It's the part that if she divorces for no good reason and remarries, she's committing fornication/adultery and that is a sin. So if she's saying that she wants to find somebody to share her faith with, she should have thought of that before marrying an unbeliever. Just remember what ended up happening to the Israelites because they kept breaking their vows to God. In the end she's going to do whatever she wants, but she will have to face God for her decisions.
Sorry, but if you are a Christian, you have to follow the rules and stick it out. You have to trust your lord and not your own instincts.


Sorry.
You know what I think that if she wants to be divorced...let her do it.I know it's a terrible thing..i had to go through it less than a year ago with my parents, but i think it's better to do it now.They better do it now, before they get any kids (do they have kids?)Like you said it breaks up a family*Plus, why would she want to stay with someone that doesn't make her happy?If she really wants to stay with him..she needs to help him get closer to God;she needs to ask God for help.You know what? I think God does everything for a reason, so if they do end up getting divorced just help her out.It's not going to be easy*
Does she love him? I think that's really the bottom line here. If she loves him she will stay with him and make attempts to introduce Jesus into his life. People find religion all of the time it could still happen for him. Or, did she realize after her hasty decision to get married that he's not the guy for her and she's using religion as the basis to get out of the marriage?
cnm,


Well, they say a good divorce is better than a bad marriage.
she might want to read more than just one scripture before she divorces. if she has no biblical reason to divorce then she had better consider this a trial and tribulation and God will soon know how strong in her faith she really is. Good luck
Tell your friend that the only thing that she needs to do is that she needs to pray alot for her husband.....





Because God said in the bible I dont know exactly where but I am sure he said if someone in the family serve's GOD everyone in that household will too....





And also God said that ';come to me and I will give'; but not to give up asking him!!!!!
Okay. Tell her that I'll marry her instead. What would she rather have, a 72 year old authorized reprensentative of God or a 22 year old stud who doesn't believe in God so much?
Dump his lying ***.
im glad uve said christians only please.madam even christ has said


1)know u not that u are the temple of the living God


2)If thine eye be single thy body will be full of light


3)Behold that the light in you be not darkness


4)As he spake thro the mouth of the holy prophets ever since the world began


5)I and my Father are one.


6)As long as im alive im the light of the world.He that followeth me shall not walk in darkness


7)In the beginning was the word and the word was with God and the word was Gog. there was nothing that was made that was not made by the Word.


8) on Love n humility hang the teachings of the saints.


9)its better to enter the world with one eye rather than two eyes'


10) in him was the life n the life was the Light of Man.


11)Kingdom of God cometh not by observation ,Kingdom of God is at hand.


12)Strait is the gate n narrow is the way that leadeth to life n few will be who will find it,broad is the way that leadeth to life n many will be that will find it.


When Christ was crucified what did he exclaim?O Lord Forgive them for they know not what they are doing.


Its obvious from the above that kingdom of God is not in the man made temple of brick n mortar but in the God made temple the Human body.


Its the hand of God that unites a man n woman together as per our mutual give n take n to consider divorce just bcos he does not accompany u to Church seems a little to hard.


There is not a single human being(all the 6billion) in whom this Christ Power is not pervading day in n day out.


This infinite light n musicor word of God or the holy sound pervades into all of which all PERFECT MASTERS spoke of n gave a conscious contact with this power of which we know nothing as of now.


Its simply a law of demand n supply that when a soul is ready the perfect master appears.


Just as a living doctor can give a patient medicines its a law that a Master should be in flesh n blood to take back souls back to God.Previous Masters can refer their case to the Pure human pole in whom this Christ Power manifests.


If for a moment this power thats the Love energy of God stops working all the worlds will be dissolved.


God is infinite Power n Love n always works thro a pure human body to connect souls crying for liberation or eternal peace.


However ,just as there is one sun to light the whole world ,usually the Perfect Master is only one.


n the eye that sees God is the inner eye .So seeing is believing.


so till we do not see n experience ourselves,as children of light n sound we will always be groping in darkness.


iFor the 1st time ive opened the yahoo answers n your question seemed interesting n i under surrenderance to God Power have replied .There are so many things in spirituality for its all about experiencing n not subject to debate.Blessed are the few who are poor in spirit n pure in Heart for they shall See God.But the outer eyes cannot see bacteria then how can it see God.The eye to see God is the inner or the single eye which only God in human form is capable of opening n give a 1st hand xperience of Truth.Just accompanying you or not to the Church should not be considered bad n dfinitely you should not damage 3lives.For God is one, n the way to him is also one n that way is there in everyone.Definitely if you Love God you must Love his Children n your husband is a blessed Child whom you should Love all the more n not hate.


This is my 1st internet reply n i have sent the reply undrafted.


regards n love to all His Creation


In Him.
First she need to find a good christian counselor to talk to about this. I also recommend a book called ';Love and Respect';
Talk with her pastor.
She made her bed and she needs to lie in it.





Even if her husband does not share her faith, she should still remain married to him and practice her faith, even if she has to do it alone.





Maybe if the husband sees the her faith gives her strength, comfort and is the basis for a loving way of life, he will come around.
She wanted a Christian man and married this guy knowing he wasn't? Hindsight is 20/20 - she shouldn't have married him in the first place. It's a tough lesson but this relationship is over.
Perhaps she should pray more.
It depends on what state of mind they were in coming into the marriage. If she married him with full knowledge that he would not change, it would seem that a divorce would be wrong; however, if he convinced her he would change just to marry her then the vows were not taken in truth and would be null and void in the eyes of God.
WHY WHY WHY did she marry him? I'm sorry, but that was a really stupid decision. Is your friend insecure? I don't know why I'm even asking that, because she obviously is. Otherwise, she wouldn't have married someone just because she worried about not ever getting married ... wow. Who gives a **** about what the bible says? She needs to do something for herself. Like get a divorce. And she owes the guy an apology. She never should have married him. It's ironic that she's such a Christian, and yet she saw no harm in lying both to herself and to her husband. Jeez.
I will try to answer your question by Scriptures, First of all if she was a Christain when she married him %26amp; he wasn't, she had to step over scriptures to do that, Because she should have married someone in the Lord.Time will not allow me to bring in every verse to show you, But you just gave us 1st Cor. 7:12-16, so that are the verses I will commit on, First Marriage %26amp; divorce is a very touching subject amoung many religions today. Some thinks that once you are married, that there is no grounds for a divorce whatsoever. That is not true. %26amp; if for some reason let's say your spouse cheats on you,, there is scriptures that gives the innocent person the right to divorce that spouse %26amp; the innocent person can re-marry. But I will stick with the scriptures you mentioned. But please back up to verse 10, I will not quote all the verses, 10: Let not the wife depart from her husband. 11: but %26amp; if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband %26amp; let not the husband put away his wife. skip down to verse 13: And the woman that hath an husband that believeth not, %26amp; if he be please to dwell with her, let her not leave him. 14: For the unbelieving husband is santified by the wife %26amp; the unbelieving wife is santified by the husband.-----------15: but if the unbelieving depart. A Brother or a Sister is not under bondage in such cases, But God hath called us to peace. 16: For what knowest thou O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband, or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thou thy wife.. Now let me first say this, there is also other scriptures saying that if a man or woman leave not his father, mother, husband, wife, children %26amp; forsake all to follow Christ we can not be one of his children. So we need to know how to rightly divide the word of God. Now first, she married him for better or for worse, in sickness %26amp; in Health, for richer or poorer, until death do them part. now if she tries to use the scriptures I gave about leaving father, Mother %26amp; so %26amp; to follow Christ, if that is taken out of context, then no one will stay married, Those verses means that if in our hearts, we don't put Christ first in our lives, %26amp; we let our love ones influence us to walk away from Christ, then we can not be Christ deciple. That does not mean that we are not to have anything to do with our relatives. Now to try to answer your question, your friend walked into this marriage knowing how her husband were, If her husband is please to dwell with her, then let her not put him away, but if certain conditions is there to a point where he is abusing her, God does not expect a Christian to live in that condition, If there is no abuse %26amp; she is sad %26amp; depress that her husband does not go to church with her %26amp; he is pleased to dwell with her, then the CORRECT way that a wife behaves, showing that Christ does live within her, that the husband by watching his wife %26amp; the way she conducts her life in front of her husband, That her very actions can bring conviction upon her husband for salvation. %26amp; visa-verser it can work the other way also concerning that conduct of the husband toward a unbelieving wife. No the wife nor the husband can not save each other, but if the believing one can live a life clean %26amp; holy before their spouse, that conduct can cause conviction upon the lost one %26amp; bring them to Christ. But if circumstances consist in the marriage to where it is unbearable to live with each other, He or she is to remain unmarried, or be reconciled back to their husband or wife. Now if that unbelieving commits adultery, The Christian can have grounds to remarry, now that is the case where the believer puts away their unbelieving spouse. But if the unbelieving theirselves leaves, we have to then go back to verse 15: But if the unbelieving depart. Let him or her depart. A Brother or a Sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God hath called us to peace. Look now, In such a case as verse 15, they are not under bondage of what, their marriage vows, that believer is free to remarry, But only in the LORD, which means a Believer is only free to marry another believer, that is what it means when it says only in the Lord. There is many, many more scriptures I can use concerning the topic of Marriage %26amp; divorce. So my advise is that if he is please to dwell with her, let her not put him away, But if circumstances consists that he is abusing her, she has the right to leave. God does not expect anyone to have to live under those circumstances of abusement. But if she is not being abused, %26amp; he just don't want to go to church, Then I can say SISTER, pray %26amp; live your life in the correct way %26amp; be humble so your unbelieving husband can see Christ in you, %26amp; in doing so, your behavior can very well be the means that your husband might give his heart to the Lord. But just to put him or even her if it is the other way around with the wife being the unbeliever, because he is not a believer, %26amp; you are not being physically abused, stay with him, but if you do put him away, remain unmarry, or be reconcile. If for some reason you put him away because the conditions is unbearable, during the time you have put him away, if he commits adultery, then you don't have to be reconciled back to him.But if he is abusing you, Get away from him Now, God does not expect a wife or a husband to be physically abused. And if you are being phyiscally abused, you have the right to leave him %26amp; remarry only in the LORD. Meaning marry a Christain. I hope this might give you some help.
They should have counselling, but no one should be forced to remain married. Men and women are equal, and no one should be subservient to their partner.
Why do people let religion rule their life. Simple answer; if you're not happy you get a divorce and seek happiness elsewhere. That's it. Stop worrying about some mythological creature bannishing you to hell, cause it's really not going to happen.
Looks like she's going to hell. haha Christianity doesn't give ya much wiggle room.
are you just a whore?


hope this helps