Should I get married??? Need advice fast.?

I have been with my boyfriend off and on for 3 and a half years. We have plans to get married in May after I finish school. Eventhough I love him with all my heart I have alot of fears. He has 5 year old son that he is rasing and I have no children. He is a good kid and i ahve learn to love him. I have not talked to my parents about my plans of marriage. My boyfriend is pressuring me to tell them our plans. He feels that I have not told my parents because i am unsure and he is not what I want. I really love him and I tell him that it is the fear of rejection that sacres me. I know I have to tell them very soon ,but I am trying to delay it the most time I can. I do not want my boyfriend to feel that I do not love him. What do I do?Should I get married??? Need advice fast.?
Take your time in whatever you do. I personally believe that marriage is FOREVER, so if you need to take some time to tell your parents then so be it. He will live.





As for him pressuring, let him know that you are trying your best. Marriage is a compromise and if he can't get off your back now, wonder how the rest of your life is gonna be like...





All in all, assure him that you will let your parents know, but it's not gonna happen overnight. You are just unsure about your parent's reaction. Hopefully he will understand where you are coming from.Should I get married??? Need advice fast.?
I think your boyfriend is right, you should read what you wrote, you DID say you have a lot of fears.





Don't think he's a fool and don't consider yourself one either.





You know you're fearful of making a mistake that's why you're not telling your parents. Rejection, like it was at the end of your question, is not a big concern...it's mostly your boyfriend.





Be honest with yourself, don't try to think or talk yourself out of what you honestly feel. If you're not ready you're not ready. If it's on and off, I would be concerned, because once you get married, you can't be on and off still...it's going to be a committed relationship where you have to face your problems head on. There's no room for just you anymore, and it's not going to be just two either...it's three people with that little kid involved that you'll have to deal with.





So, go back to the very beginning, do you want to get married? You might love him, you might love the kid...but can you handle the commitment of taking care of two people? Are you capable of that, is that what you want? Do YOU want to get married? Are they the perfect picture and you want nothing more or nothing less?





If you think differently...then you know your answer.
It doesn't sound like your ready to get married. Instead of torturing yourself tell you boyfriend your not ready. Speak your parents about your plans of engagement and work your way up from there. don't be afraid to as for time if that's what you need. It's better than making a mess of your life by rushing into marriage. Good Luck.
You seem like you have doubts. You shouldn't get married unless you are really sure. You're not - so don't.
Well why did you tell him and pick a date if you are not ready? That is just fooling your self and hurting him. Why do you have fears? Talk to him about your fears and work it out. It sounds like you do love him. When you are ready to get married you will know. My guy and I dates off and on for 28 months, I wasn't ready to get married last Sept like we had planned but I was this Feb and we got married on Valentines day- so things can change and you might be ready. But dont lead him on if you dont want to marry him, you aren't just hurting him, your hurting his son too.
If you aren't grown up enough to tell your parents then you aren't grown up enough to get married. Wait a few years so you can mature, then get married.
You're not mature enough to get married if you're not mature enough to tell your parents. Wait another year, then decide.
If you have to ask other people, you probably shouldn't get married.
You're not marrying your parents. Just tell them and if they choose to reject you, then its there loss. Go with what you feel is right but dont make him wait. He is offering a lifetime of love, take it if it means anything to you.
just asking that question, needs to make you wonder
I agree with most ppl here. What rejection? How would your parents reject you? They'll accept it or they won't...And if they don't accept it now, they probably will eventually. It's your life. But you sound young.





When you say you're waiting to finish school, do you mean high school or college? If high school, you're waaaay to young to really be discussing this. If college, you're probably still too young.





How old are you? And how old is your BF? If he's a lot older than you, that could be an issue too. Do your parents possibly think he's the wrong guy for you? Sometimes parents are right about these things...
Look at your life without him in it. If you have dreams for your future that might be slowed down by getting married and becoming an instant mommy, then just let him know you are not ready. If he truly loves you, he will wait for you and not pressure you into anything. If you can't see your future without him in it, but aren't ready for that commitment- just sit him down, and talk. Maybe see a pre-marriage counselor- they are great at putting what ';married life'; is really like into perspective. But DO NOT under any circumstances get married if you are not ready. B/c one day you will regret it, and then the worst is inevitable.
NO, don't do it...





there's no easy way to explain to you what you should do...you really need to have a heart-to-heart with him about how you are feeling. when you are married, everything changes and if you can't open up to him now, can you imagine what it will be like when you two are discussing something like money issues, etc.





it doesn't hurt to wait and i would recommend you speak to your parents about it...
Chia,


I don't understand why he is pushing you!!!!!!!!


DON'T LET HIM!


Tell him that you will know when the time is right and it doesn't feel so at this time! Maybe you don't have ALL of your plans set in stone yet, so make your Fiance see!





Marriage is all about Compromise and if he isn't willing to NOW, it won't be ANY easier later, so he better get some practice if he wants to ';walk down that isle'; with you!!!!
overcome the fear with love
u jnow wat u should do dont let people tell u wat u need to do u know wat to do just lisetn to ur heart it will tell u wat u need to know good luck its just fright because ur getting married good luck
I dont want to sound like a cliche and say just follow your heart because I think that it would get you in trouble. Marriage is nothing that should be pressured especially if their are any doubts or hesitation. If you truly love each other enough it can wait but, first ask yourself the question? What would be the benefits if you were married?What would be the downfalls? Just remember its always easy to say ';I do';, only wishing later that you never did. To me, the smartest thing to do is to take time to evaluate your relationship. Each one of you should make a list of the things that are most important in your life and then compare notes. You may find that what he wants out of a relationship is way different. Be sure that you give your list the most deepest thought and effort in every category you choose. It can be a real eye opener, or make you that much closer depending on the outcome.
well hunny my sister dated a guy that asked her to marry him and at first when my sister said tis to soon he said he will wait but after a while he started to pressurre her and it ended up that he didnt care for her he just wanted to be married and then the emotional pressure turned in to yelling that turned into screaming and almost turned into hittin





if he loves you he would not pressure you cus he wants whats best for you and he will sacrifies anything to make you happy





this guy needs to stop it or you need to end it soon hun
Well to start your an adult and if your parents don't like it you getting married who cares. They should be glad that your going to tell them. They should be happy for you not make you feel bad. SO tell them and maybe they will be happy if not hey as long as you love him marry him.
The same situation here, but the other way around.





My bf hasn't told my parents about my son. That hurts my feelings because my son is everything to me. He told me that he hasn't told his parents because he fears that they will oppose or judge me. I agreed at the beggining not to tell just so they would get to know me first, but time has passed and still no word on my son. I told him that I feel that I'm deceiving his parents by not disclosing such relevant information about me, and that I didn't want them to hate me later for HIS idea of not being honest upfront. He says that that will not happen, but has not told them yet. This has snowballed and not I'm afraid that him not telling is going to be a much bigger problem than being honest.





You are just afraid of telling the thruth and facing your parents. Honesty is the best policy and if you really care about this guy, you should let your parents know, is better for it to come from you and not hear say.





Good luck
if you are getting out of high school don't get married because you might grow apart as you grow older.


maybe you should talk to your man and tell him you don't think you are ready for being married.


Definitely talk to your parents they will help you figure it all out
You have way too many reservations. You should not marry him.
What's the rush, and why the secrets?





If you are just finishing school, focus on that for a little while, relax, get a job, do whatever.





Don't rush into something you are not ready for.
From what you have told me so far NO .If you need to ask total strangers then NO.On and off again relationshiops are doomed.
THIS IS THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTION, THIS IS SOMETHING YOU SHOULD NOT BE DOING OKAY. WHEN YOU ARE IN LOVE AND IT IS THE RIGHT TIME YOU WON'T HAVE ANY QUESTIONS. YOU ARE NOT READY AND YOUR BF JUST WANT TO HOLD ON TO YOU. STAY WITH HIM BUT DON'T MARRY HIM UNTIL YOU ARE READY EVEN IF IT MEANS ENDING THE RELATIONSHIP. WHATEVER YOU DO DON'T LET NO ONE RUSH YOU INTO SOMETHING YOU CAN'T WALK AWAY FROM.
Just be honest, if you are not ready, you are not ready. Don't let him force you into it, you will only resent him later.
no don't get married a long distance relationship is not good.
if you feel unsure about the wedding plans, more than just '; butterflies'; in your gut, then talk to your fiance about it. avoid hiding your thoughts about it any longer- the wedding will be only in a few months, so you certainly need to get your feelings out into the open without rejecting him. if you have shared happy times and made fun memories with him for more than three years, than you must be happy with him. really ask yourself how you feel, and then tell that to your fiance too. make sure that you say that you love and care about him very much, and that if you want to postpone the wedding, which i think is A LOT better than bailing out on it completely, he shouldn't be angry with you. if you feel that this is necessary, than do so. especially for the fact that you haven't even spoke to your parents together about the matter makes it even more mandatory to talk to him about it. also explain that you may be worried about being a good mother to his young son, since you have never been a mother before. if you both really want to stay together and have a good marriage, then think it over for 2008 and get your problems out onto the table. a couple who will last for a very long time or even forever is honest with each other and doesn't pressure one another, so keep that in mind as well- Good luck!!!
how old r u if u are under 30 hell no dont marry
.Go for it you only live once If it doesn't work out get the big D No big deal people are doing it every day but they will tell you not to. If you don't you may miss out on the best thing of your life
It sounds to me like your not ready for marriage. The tough thing is getting your boyfriend to understand that you aren't ready for marriage but still love him enormously. I can sympathize with you to a certain degree. my boyfriend and I plan to get married in a few years, but the closer it gets, the more scared of marriage i get. It's ok to put it off until you are sure. Be wise.