Well, no offense to you and I don't mean to hurt your feelings...but why should he marry you? He's already getting all the benefits of being married without the legal committment. I'd have a talk with him and let him know how you feel. If he is adamantly opposed to marriage, you need to decide whether or not you should move on. Whatever you do, don't try to nag him into marrying you - neither of you will ever be happy. Either accept things the way they are or consider yourself free to look for a marriage-minded mate.I have been w/ my b/f for 10 yrs. and have a 5 yr. old son, but he still won't get married. any advice???
Simple. Marriage is about the stupidest thing any American man could do. Marriage won't keep you around. Marriage won't provide him any assurance that he will have access to his child. Marriage only creates a liability for him and none for you. It is an invalid, non-binding, one-sided contract that is completely unnecessary.
Why do you want to be married is the more important question. Romance? Access to his wallet? What is it?
My advice is to be honest about why you want to be married, and be honest with yourself about the validity of the reason.I have been w/ my b/f for 10 yrs. and have a 5 yr. old son, but he still won't get married. any advice???
If he won't marry you out of all of this time why would he? First of all, you give him everything he wants WITHOUT HAVING TO MARRY YOU so why should he give that up? As long as you give someone everything they want WITHOUT requiring anything they will take it for as long as you allow them to.
You have to value yourself enough to change this situation. What standard are you setting for your child? Is this the quality of life you want? If it is, then more power to you, but if you truly want to be married, which it sounds like you do, then don't waste another 10 years of your life - that you will not be able to get back. Pretty soon you will notice all of your friends are getting married and you are still living with your boyfriend. Focus on your child and getting over this person who did not value you enough to marry you.
You need to check out my friend's website - he wrote a book for women and it's excellent for figuring out the men in our lives. www.thetruthbecause.com.
Good luck to you!
If you guys have been together for 10 years and you have a child then you can tell him that by law you guys are already what's called ';Common Law'; married. And, you want to be married. Tell him it's important to you. And, ask him why he doesn't want to. I'm sure it's a ';next big step'; type of thing. Tell him that no matter what you guys have been through a lot in 10 years and marriage will not change things for you. Especially since you've been together that long.
If he hasn't married you in 10 years, he probably doesn't intend to. Accept it or move on.
By the way, regarding 'common-law' marriage...if you live in the US, there are only about a dozen states that recognize common-law marriage, and even in those states, to be considered common-law married requires more than merely living together and/or having a child together.
Ok , so basically you pretend like your married and you even have a child together, and your wondering why he wont get married?????? old saying *why buy the cow when u get the milk for free* , he has everything he wants, with out having to fully commit to it.. he has the built in wife, family etc, with out having to legally be binded to it..
So at this point u have 2 choices, either u put up with the situation u put yourself into and hope eventually he comes around one day, or you force him into a situation that he has to chose between commited to u or not..
10 years is a long time to wait, so at some point u have to decide if your wasting your life , or accepting that this is your life and deal with it.. but more then likely after 10 years and a child, doubtful hes going to change any time soon if those 2 things havent changed his mind..
So my advice to you.. is stop actting like the built in wife.. stop sleeping with him, stop cooking and cleaning for him, do only for you and your child.. start doing things completely out of character but nothing that can breach your relationship.. why? because when he asks why , you simply say , your tired of pretending to be a wife to someone who obviously doesnt want a wife, and if that changes to let you know, but until it does, your not going to be his, maid, roomate with benifits, cook etc .. until he decides he wants a *Wife* .. ur not going to act like a wife..
Accept the situation or move on. If marriage was a requirement for you, it probably would've been best if you'd waited to have the child until after you said ';I do';.
As long as he contributes to the support of the child, and y'all have a good relationship, marriage shouldn't be a big issue...unless it's an issue of benefits, inheritance, power of attorney, etc...
well, he sure didn't mind getting you pregnant, so he is apparently not afraid of lifelong commitments (unless it is not his, of course). I'd leave him NOW and then sue him in civil court for child support for the next, oh, 13 years. He is a living, walking talking illustration of the old saying ';why should I buy the cow when I can get all the milk I want free?';
You are married.
Marriage is what you are doing! Why buy the cow the milk is free, a guy made this quote...lol Just enjoy life or move on without him. Put it this way, you chose to live together and have a kid. You gave up your wedding day for that. What is the point now. Surly after 10 years and a five year old everyone knows.
I went threw the same thing you are going threw but with too kids, he said who needs a piece of paper. well he ended up leaving me for a women who worked at his bank, i say he marry's you or tell him it's over, there is nothing he can say... buy the way i gave my kids my last name, he didnt want to marry me they didnt get his name!!!!
the saying why buy the cow when you get the milk for free may apply here however has he ever brought up the idea of marriage I know the idea if for the guy to ask however turn the tables ask him to marry you if he says no there you go this relationship is not one that is meant to be best of luck
umm..how old are you?
and i would ask him why he wont marry you.
cause if he wont marry you then you need to leave him.
its not okay for him to have a child with you and not marry you.
and you should ask him if he truely loves you and yalls son.
hope this helps.
You have two choices. Stay with him un married or leave and find someone that wants the same things you do.
After 10 years I think it is safe to say he is not the marrying kind.
I am sure you knew this years ago. Why did you think he would change his mind?
omg!!...u actually wan2 marry him??...havn'e u realized it already??..he must be cheating on u....otherwise hw would have been loyal n would have married u, like, 9 yrs back!!...
check wht he's been doing...try to check his contacts with other women....u may never know....
It seems he does not want to make the commitment which you do deserve. It will probably be best to move on with your life. There is someone that will lvoe and respect you as their wife. God bless!
You should have never lived with him in the first place. He has you over a barrel now with a kid. You can try asking him but don't be surprised at his answer.
Ask him why he won't. Maybe he just doesn't want to make that kind of commitment yet.
Men are funny. You can never really tell what they want. :)
I dont know what state you live in...but in many states you might be married through common law...look it up...Its called common law marraige
Give him a ultimatum.
why? because he already can get what he wants for free, he had sex, why bother to get married?
if he dont find someone who will
Five years old is very young to get married. He needs some experience of the world first.
There will be time enough for him to get married in ten years or so, when he's seen a bit more of life.
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