I am 19 years old, I got married to my husband last May because we were going to have a baby together (we had already been together about a year). My daughter is now one, I love my husband but I am not IN love with him. I have been talking to someone else who totally makes me happy (NO PHYSICAL RELATIONSHIP THERE..strictly someone I can talk to). I'm not happy with the hubby. If I leave him, what will happen to my daughter? (he, by the way, is 25) How messy is divorce? Is it the wrong thing to do? Do I put my feelings aside so my daughter can grow up in a normal household? Please help. I am so confused.
I have been unhappy much longer than I've known the conversationalist. I haven't been attracted to my husband in about a year, I hate it when he touches me, I have been much happier sitting at a starbucks by myself reading a book than at home with him reading a book.
I have spoken with my husband. I've told him I'm very unhappy, haven't been happy in a long time (in comparison to our short relationship). I've told him that I'm not in love with him any more. I've been very open and honest with him. He sees me texting all the time. I am feeling terrible by what everybody is saying about me being immature and whatnot, but it doesn't change the fact that I'm unhappy. I want to make this work but at what expense?Very young and unhappily married, need advice.?
Relationships are hard work. You got married before you knew who you are. It doesn't sound like you are trying to make it work - it won't work unless you both try to make it work. I personally don't believe in staying in bad relationships but you do need to make sure it can't/won't work before you leave it because your child will suffer either way. You should have couples counselling to work out if there is a future. If not leave it and make sure you don't use the child as a weapon against each other. If you part company you still have to make that work as you both have to put the child's needs above your own. Don't start any new relationship (even a non sexual one) until you have both decided on the future properly and fairly. Good luck.Very young and unhappily married, need advice.?
Your having an emotional affair (I think its stupid) and how do you know you are going to be attracted to the person once you meet them in person.
Your not making anything work- You are being selfish. If you wanted to make things work. You would stop talking to the person online and focus on what about your husband makes you unhappy.
in your situation, I would get a clean divorce now, don't wait until you hate him or resent him and make your daughter's life miserable b/c you are so unhappy. if you divorce now, she will never know a different life, her parents will have been divorced for as long as she can remember.
You need to try to improve the relationship not find excuses for leaving him. Get a babsitter and do stuff you enjoy doing. Attempt to improve your sex-life by telling him what you like or using aides (massag oils, fragrant candles, sexy outfits...)
At the expense of YOUR CHILD... that's what.
Grow up -- like TONIGHT.
Throw that cell in the toilet and cut off contact with your Conversationalist. Seriously.
Call a therapist in the morning.
Time to do the hard work of what you signed up for.
Good luck.
xoxoxoxo
I don't think that you have been married for long enough to draw that conclusion. I think you got into this way too young when you should have been worried about filling out college applications.
I am going to answer the question in the same way I did yesterday.
Silly, silly little girl. Look if you're not happy, get a divorce, and let the poor man go and find himself a decent woman.
How many times will you ask this hoping to get new answers? Answer still stands, stop cheating emotionally, focus on your marriage.
if you are not happy- leave him-
if he doesn't want the baby- keep it-
find someone you want to spent the rest of your life with.
Sheeeee-it, spread yo legs and enjoy it with any guys that wants it
im afraid you have to stay since you had a baby...
NEVER GET MARRIED WITH SOMEBODY JUST BECAUSE YOUR HAVING A BABY WITH THEM!
manu ppl do that mistake
getting married is something special
dont marry somebody unless you feel their right for you and that you LOVE them
If your unhappy then try talking to him and let him know why
get a divorce if things arent working out
and your daughter will be fine
she will have a mother and a father that love her even though they might not live together
That's why you don't rush into marriage, and marry at such a young age.
but go after what you want, get a divorce if you feel so uncomfortable.
don't leave him because you like another man, leave him because you'ree unhappy and you don't feel comfortable around him.
as for your daughter, don't be to scared, i grew up perfectly fine with out my dad and i know for sure my life would have been hell with him.
but if her dad is a good man, don't keep her away from him..
I would just do what makes me happy and most important comfortable
and ofc with precaution of every step you take.
GOOD LUCK
Don't listen to all the ppl that tell you not to do it, because if its not working out you should get a divorce as soon as possible.
at least before your daughter grows up and understands what divorce means then at that time your daughter will have emotional problems.
if your gonna go threw years trying to make it work when it doesn't and you end up getting a divorce when your daughter is much older, then your going to regret it.
so break free now because its your only chance, or stay until your daughter is married.
It doesn't sound like you're TRYING at all to make the marriage work. I would have understood a bit if your husband was abusive, but he seems pretty stable. Guess what? You have a daughter now, which means you also have responsibilities. You can't just high tail out of there because you're ';unhappy.'; You have to think about your daughter first now that you're a mother. Do you think your daughter will be happy if she grew up without a father nearby, or having to visit him every other week. Do you think she'll be happy not really having her father in her childhood?! Or do you think this ';someone else who totally makes you happy'; will gladly step in as the fatherly figure? She has a real father already, why would you even think of taking that away from her? You should probably, instead of spending so much time texting and talking to your little buddy, actually try to spend time with your husband and make your marriage WORK. You got married, you can't just quit whenever you feel like it.
i think you guys were to young to marry even thoe u guys had a child together which makes a family complete marraige is tought it takes alot of communication and work it has its ups and downs i am 25 and my fiance is 30 we been together sense i was 15 we have 3 kids not married i am still learning him everyday and i finally belive i am ready to marry him he shows me love support and affection he is there for our kids evryday and i no for a fact i am not sharing my life with no one else you guys have to realize divorce is alot to handle and i never want to go threw that but now i am 26 i experienced alot and now i no there is nothing or noone else for me out there i hope you two can at least try to make your marraige sucessful. try some online courses to block him out think about your future i tried it and i love it yu get grant money and everything changing your life around makes your life great
Just put ur feelings aside. How would you feel if a guy dumped you because some other girl gives him a ***** ? And what do you mean at what expense ? So you dont get to be with the smooth talker, you seem to have a good hubby, honor your marriage.
What happens to you is normal, nature wants u to slut around and have 6-16 different babies with different men. Ingore the hormones and your feelings submit to hubby and do what he tells you.
I'd at least give couple's counseling a shot, for your daughter's sake. But honestly, I'd say you're too young to really know who you want to spend the rest of your life with--it's probably not your husband, and it's probably not this conversationalist.
You either need to commit to your husband, 100%, and find a way to love him, or leave him and work on yourself--don't rush into another relationship, because it's not fair to your daughter for you to go through this kind of thing again. In Western cultures, we're used to marrying someone for love, but in many Eastern culture, people marry and learn to love after--so even your marriage could work if you put your mind to it. In the end, it's up to you, but please keep your daughter in mind as you go through this process, whatever it is. Good luck.
As a rule i don't answer these anymore as
it.s dealing with feelings.like you and others you
married for the wrong reasons to give the baby a
last name and security.now you find that your feelings have came forward.we don't stay married if we are unhappy as you are as your hurting yourself and the baby.Divorce isn't
as bad as people make it.you would keep the
baby and he would pay child support with
visitation wrights.you would file on grounds
that you no longer want to have sex or any
romantic in-counters with him.do not say
that you have someone else in mind after
divorce 6 months you would be free to do
as you please.but be for the 6 months if you
have sex or sleep with your husband it voids
your divorce So see your lawyer and get a
legal separation and he will explain all to you.
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