I am just 21 and my parents are forcing me to get married, plz advice what to do?

I am 21 years old, and am still pursuing my graduation, my parents are forcing me to get married, also they dont let me do any job. all they want is me to get married. the main root of this problem is my mother, whnever anything wrong happens or some situation is out of control, she always get a reason to speak on and tht too on the topic of my marriage.


now they are askibng me to get a photoshoot done so that they can show y pictures for my marriage.





all this is ridiculous and am actually thinking of leaving these people, but i really don't know what to do as i have a younger sister. Also all other family members are there, i am so messed up.





Even i don't know how will i survive after i leave my family.





please help me people. PleaseI am just 21 and my parents are forcing me to get married, plz advice what to do?
Find someone outside of your family that can help you. I'm not sure what country you are in but find someone that supports you. Is it possible for you to stay with another friend or family? Can you convince them to wait until after graduation? Even if you don't want to get married (which I don't support), this can buy you some time. Perhaps apply to go to school in another country and then seek asylum or apply to stay in that country. In the U.S., you can apply for asylum. It is not guaranteed that you will be allowed to stay but you should at least try. You can get a visa to go to school in another country. If you are in U.S., I would definitely seek legal help. Some lawyers will take on your case for free (called ';pro bono';). Please see the web sites below for more information.





Do they want you to marry because of money? If you can prove to them that you can make money on your own, then they may stop pressuring you.





Definitely do not marry unless you truly love someone. This is YOUR life. Make sure you are happy and don't do anything just to make your parents happy. You will be miserable if you do that.





I will pray for you and really hope you find help!I am just 21 and my parents are forcing me to get married, plz advice what to do?
I am assuming that you are Indian - from your writing style etc. I will say get married now as it is the right time. You know in India it is very difficult for an arranged marriage if you are above 25. So be practical get married - and then do whatever you want. You will get a good groom at this age. He will let you do whatever you want. Your parents will be proud and happy and you too will feel great. One day you have to get married right. The sooner the better.
The best thing that you can do is to tell them pretty much what you have written here. Tell them that you love them very much, but that you don't want to have them make decisions for you anymore. Tell them you will leave if you have to, but that it will hurt everyone very much. See if there is anything that you can work out with them. If they are insistent, then you have to follow through, otherwise you will forever be under their control.





Good luck.





(I assume that they come from a traditional culture).
What country are you in? What level of school are you attending?





In the US legally no one can make you marry.





Leave. Get a job and move out. Or get student loans and go to college. Or join the army.





How old is your sister? Are you worried they will force her to marry? If she is young they can't, if she is 18 she can move in with you after you move out.
Tell them you are not getting married yet. You are only 21 (my age) and you are happy with the way things are right now.





It is your life. You are 21 for crying out loud. Learn to speak up for yourself, especially if you are getting pushed into something you do not want. Get your degree. Tell your parents to cool it on the marriage pressure. If they won't cool off, then move out.
Um, in America, they cannot force you to get married.


I'd run. What is it, a religious thing?





Just pursue your education, that's the route you should really be following. You can always get financial aid, and live in the dorms. You'd be surprised how much they can help you, talk to a counselor...
This is approved age for marriage.





If you are not intersted,convince


your elders that you are preparing


for the best carreer options,so,


they allow you to postpone the


enforcement for your marriage.





Best of Luck!
so leave- %26amp; your sister can move in w/ you when she's old enough. eventually you can go back after you've established your independence %26amp; they cant force you to do anything-


dont be so scared, I was on my own at 17 yrs old
tell them that if they keep trying to force u to get married it will just end up in divorce. u will get married when u want to they need to stop. tell them that u aren't ready and they need to stop or u will leave
Tell them you're married already and instead of going to school everyday like they thought you were doing, you were actually going to spend time with your husband.
omg one the turkish (uzbek or somethiong) guys on my wrestling team had to have an arranged marriage, turns out the chick was hot so they did.





don't stress he was only 16, now his wife is hotter than all our gfs
You're an adult. They cannot legally force you to do anything, especially get married.
What is your heritage?








Are you muslim? Indian?
bring home some guy who has no manners, burps out loud, swears and tells your mom she has bad taste in home decorating.


then tell them u are going to marry him.
you need to move out and get a new life there are places to go for help women shelters,gov. offices in blue pages in phone book in America they can not force this on you
forcing someone to get married in this day and age is impossible, all you do is say 'no' at the ceremony...
Are you living in some third world country? because I cant see how else it would be possible for anyone to force their 21 year old to get married. Just say no.
follow your dreams an no one else's. tell them hell no. its your life not there's.
You are an adult..they can't force you to do anything.
move out!
Just listen to ur heart dear . And take a decision which u will respect the entire life .
Tell them you are not interested in getting married at the moment and will find your own husband. Tell your mother to stop this arranged marriage nonsense. Tell her you are in a free country now (America, Australia) and not in India, Middle East or wherever she comes from and that it is against the law for her to force marriage on you. Also tell her you refuse to attend a photo shoot so that you can be sold like some product to some guy you have never met. Tell her is she keeps acting like this you will leave home and never speak to her again. Be strong and stand up for yourself. If you move out you can let your sister know that she can come and live with you if they try the same arranged marriage crap with her.
Your situation tells you are indian and living in traditional indian family. Dont think they are doing bad or so. Marriages are not fixed in a single day my dear. Your parents needs time to search a right guy for you. It may take 1 -2 yrs or more then that. Whenever you say yes then only they will start searching so if they start searching now means you will be 23 till then.





Now after all this happens then also chat mangni or pat biya is not possible so another 6 month to 1 yr. This much time is sufficient to talk with the guy and decide that the guy is good for you or not.





Job you can carry on after marriage also your parents are telling you not to go for a job can be a insecurity of now a days bad eliments.





They are your parents and will not do bad for you so think my dear, Your parents are your wellwishre not any person including me to answer your problem.





Believe in your parents they will do best for you.


God Bless You
Your 21 years old, you are an adult. You choose who you want to marry and when. YOU are YOUR own PERSON! If you do not want to get married right now, then don't. Do what you want to. There is nothing wrong with that. Fulfill your goals in life, not the goals your parents have for you. They have lived their life's, it is now your time to live yours. As loving parents, they should stand behind you in anything and everything you do! If they cant do that for you, then get on with your life. Think about it, do what you want = Happy....do what they want = Miserable. Be strong hun! I wish you the best!
I would have told you to tell them it's none of their business, but your parents sound like the stricter type. the type that is arrogant and stubborn.





- Honestly i don't know what to say, but you will need some kind of professional help, just find out who or what can help you. Like a social worker or something.





Also look online about the law on forceful or arranged marriages. The really can't do this, and beside your an adult you can do what you like when you like. They should just patiently wait for their wedding invites.





- Good Luck.
i think if you are an inidan girl you must not panic about your marriage


i think you are enough matured to get married


just think of a situation if you would be in love with a person and all


but still if you are indian there must be a dekhane ke liye annewale log


and all


just look out at guys coming there if someone is really good get married to him and then you can really be out of your family an even you dont have any problem study well after your marriage and even you can have a job


after all


being an indian family and forcing you to get married they will never force you to get married to person you dont like just refuse person who will not support you


marrying at 21 is not mess you will have a good life partner younger and ofcourse you will definetly have a tight bond just go ahead


choose a right person and get married you will love the person have a correct partner and you will be out of your family


good luck di
I'm so sorry that some parents are awful. You do not want to get married yet and I would enforce that upon them. If they disagree I would move away on your own if you can afford it. Nobody should be pushed into marriage unless they are ready and with their own desire of marriage partner. It would be wise to be away from such controlling people. You are intelligent and still pursuing your education so maybe there is room at the dorm of your college. It might help if you also had a little counseling from your school to help you out of the problems you have had with your family. I hope somehow this would work for you and hope everything gets better.
First of all, you are a grown individual and NO ONE has the right to make you do anything. Now, that being said, if you find yourself in a position where you need to get out on your own and become independent, I would suggest you find a friend who would help you out in this time of trouble...if you are in as much trouble as you believe yourself to be...then they will assist you.





Second, you are going to have to grow up and be responsible for yourself. Take a stand, but be prepared to live on your own with no help from anybody else, because all of your crying will mean nothing if you are not willing to back it up.





Take stock of whatever is valuable that you have and be willing to sell it if you have to. Ask to stay at a friends house until you can find a job and get your own place if you have to.





These are the steps people must take to gain adulthood, and sometimes we need to tell our parents that we are grown and to STOP CONTROLLING OUR LIVES. But we have to back it up with action.





Weigh your consequences and make the decision for your own best interests, your sister has nothing to do with this. In fact, your Independence would probably spark her to be independent as well. But make a choice and follow through.





Good Luck