First off, why hasn't he ever worked? That would be a good sign of someone that just doesn't want any responsibility - and marriage is a big responsibility. I will also hazard a guess that this has been the source of some fights/contention in the marriage. It's never easy when one person feels like they pull all the weight in the relationship.
Next off, you have to ask yourself whether you think that the marriage is worth saving. From your comments, though it seems to me that you've answered that one, and have decided no. And since he won't agree to marriage counseling, it shows that he either, doesn't recognize that there's an issue, or doesn't care enough to fix it.
Third, he is not your responsibility. It's important for you to remind yourself that. He's not your child. He's a grown man, and he can fend for himself. If he can't, it might be time he learned.
As a bit of a consolation to you, remember that, there are often plenty of opportunities for assistance for people getting on their feet. He will just have to actually do some work and look for them. I don't know where you live, but here in the states, there are job training opportunities, financial assistance or people who qualify (and sometimes even people who SHOULDN'T qualify, but that's another thing all together).
It sounds as though there are issues in the marriage that may not be repairable because he has no desire to work with you to fix them.
I wish you the best of luck and that you find happier days in the near future. I need marital advice. I have been married to this man for over 2 years, but we have been together for 7.?
Hello Jennifer,
I think you know what you need to do - cut if off. It certainly does not sound like a healthy relationship. Even though it is beyond difficult sometimes we need to do what is right in spite of our feelings.
Your husband will never stand up and take care of himself if you do it for him, and since he is not a child, you should NOT be doing it for him!
If I were you I'd consider moving if you can and get yourself totally out of the picture. Beyond that, get some good counseling yourself so you will be able to feel strong and confident again. Hang out with friends who will support you in this time of need.
Best wishes,
Diane
If you feel that bad about it then give him a heads up %26amp; let him prepare. He'll need to get a job %26amp; save for a deposit on an apartment. If you want to split some furniture with him you'll get him out faster so he doesn't have to save for that too. I don't see anything wrong with letting him know. I did that before. My ex boyfriend %26amp; I lived together for 3 months while broken up. I didn't want to be with him but I didn't want him to starve either. He did what he had to do %26amp; he left. It sucked living together like that but I felt better about not chucking him out in the cold.
What did he do before you provided for him? Whatever it was, he can do it again. Even if it means going home to mommy.
I am a firm believer in looking out for myself. Not to sound like a b*tch, but life is too short to live it unhappy. Pack his bags, move him out, buy some Ben %26amp; Jerrys, wallow, then move on. You are better off without him.
he doesn't want help and unless he does you can't help him. save yourself
guilt is not a reason to stay in a marriage. He is a big boy, let him figure out where he is gonna go.
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