I am gay and seeing a married man, advice please?

I am gay, partnered for the last 7 years, I am 31. My relationship is up and down. I have met few weeks ago a married guy, he's 51, in anusal circumstances. He told me he is married and have a son-15, from the very beggining. He started seing guys 3 years ago as he began to live ';a new life';. I have met lots of guys as well. Last time we met he told me he fail in love with me and I told him that I love him too. Never felt like that even with my present partner. We can't get enough of ourself. I am fully aware of this situation we are both in but whats about his family? Will a married man ever leave his wife and whats about his son, is it sensible if he finds out he's dad is gay? Should we carry on? The last thing I want to happen is to hurt him or his family. I love him so much !I am gay and seeing a married man, advice please?
This is very unfair on this mans wife.





Hopefully he will feel brave enough to come out soon, before his life is over, the longer he drags it out the more lives he will hurt. Including yoursI am gay and seeing a married man, advice please?
same answer as if you were not gay one or more of you is going to get hurt.


this married bloke should decide which he want to be and stop decieving his wife.





being gay has nothing to do with it - if a straight person was having an extra marital affair someone will get hurt just the same.





all three people need to know what the situation is and sort it out beween yourselves.
i have several gay friends who have had one night stands


with married men. - which is weird but it happens.


this man is married - you are infatuated


tell him to contact you if and when he has left his wife and


i think you will be waiting a long time


he is a cheating bastard - gay or not


and what about your partner - still sleeping with him?


maybe you should leave and live on your own for a while


and sort yourself out
are you sure you're gay. usually, gay man can articulate much better than this.


yes. you're wrong. no. he's not leaving his wife.


stop waiting around for him. you know he's married, yet you don't want to hurt anyone. that doesn't make too much sense.


neither does your relationship.


i hope he's not bringing any diseases back to his wife.
you shouldnt have started a relationship witha married man i say stop before you break up his family.
it's highly unlikely that he'll leave. you should'nt be seeing a married man anyway. it's not fair to his wife and son.
ye dirty sausage sucka ye! no wonder AIDS spread from dogs with you lot ....
same advise i would tell a chick, stay out of it and find someone else...
stop being dumb please, your hurting my brain.
I think it is very unfair of both of you. I wouldn't condone a woman seeing a married man so I don't see why a man doing the same thing should be any different. You have to put yourself in other peoples shoes. Think how you would feel in his wifes place. Not very good is the answer and I think you feel this much for each other then you have to leave your respective partners before taking it any further. I think you should sit down and talk to him. Tell him how you feel and ask him if he is prepared to leave his family. If he is not, then it is not fare to put yourself or them through this, because if his wife finds out then things could get very messy
Wow , talk about a a situation . Well, in my opinion he is already living the way he wants (needless to say without freedom of marriage). See , in my opinion if he really wanted to he would have left his wife along time ago. Apparently ,he doesn't see the need to due so (is he thinking of his families feelings or maybe the wife already knows) . You never know (until you ask him). See if you want to further your relationship with this guy you need to have a serious talk with him. As for his marriage , who's to say maybe he likes the rush of doing this secretly . As , for you asking if you guys should carry on -well apparently that would be your choices. You both are adults and should do what you both want . I know one thing for sure , if he is married w/ kids -they will be devastated . But remember . if this guy truly loves you ,he will come clean and reveal his true sexuality with his family. Its better if its him that tells them and not him being caught or told by someone els. No matter what happens , its better if you both are true to the ones you love .


Things happen for a reason , if it was meant to be .Then it will turn out for the best . Good luck.
I do not think your situation is much different than any other affair. At some point I do believe his relaitonship with you will be found out by his wife or son. For him the issue is how to address the affair before it is discovered. One option is for him to be up front to her about his relationship with you. Another option is that she will find out. Third option is that he ends his relationship with you before he is disovered.The option he will pick will depend to how scared he is of her finding out. If he is deathly afraid then he may choose to end it but if he is careless then she will find out.





My recommendation would be do what you feel is right. In my honest opinion unless she forces him to leave he will not leave her. He has a son with her and he is about to graduate high school in about 2 years. There is no way he his going to miss being a part of his son's life no matter how he feels about her and he will do what he needs to do in order to ensure that.
I dated a married man up until recently when I ended it, that too, by holding a mirror up to his face and making him realize what he was doing to EVERYONE involved, his wife, kids, myself, was unfair, selfish, and WRONG.





Anyone who falls in love with a married man must realize the following:





1) The man is married, possibly with children. When he's done spending time with you, he goes home and spends his nights, weekends, holidays, vacations, with THEM....not YOU. More likely than not, he has no plans to leave his wife. This is a man who not only wants his cake, but wants to eat it, too. The married man you say you鈥檙e in love with is selfish and has total disregard for the impact his actions will have on others in his life.





2) Put yourself in his wife's shoes....how would you feel if that were you and someone was sleeping with YOUR man? You're pretty much invading her territory, stealing the affections of a man that doesn't belong to you, and helping to destroy something that she's built for 5-10-15-20 yrs.





3) By KNOWINGLY sleeping with a married man, you are ENABLING his behavior, and therefore, serving as an accomplice towards his infidelity. You are equally as guilty as he. This enabling behavior also just continues to delude him, providing him with a view of the entire situation that鈥檚 self-serving.





4) Loving him is fine, but you should realize that by him sleeping with you he is disrespecting his wife, his children, compromising his integrity, and vice versa. Most importantly, for you, he鈥檚 disrespecting you and your feelings.





5) If he does leave his wife for you, could you trust him knowing full well that he lied to his wife and children? Can you, in your heart, believe that this man will REMAIN faithful to you and your love? How are you so sure you're the ONLY man/woman he's cheating on his wife with, or you, for that matter? There could well be others.





6) You deserve someone for you and only you that can give you their FULL attention. Respect yourself enough to realize that anything less would be compromising, and would only contribute to your existing misery.





7) End it鈥?.separate yourself as much as you possibly can. Don鈥檛 see him, call him, email him, or text message him. By doing so, all you end up with is creating more misery, and, if you see him again, starting the clock all over again.