I'm planning to get married! Any advice in my situation about the in-laws? (I'm 17)?

So I've met this guy at a Christian camp when I was 12. Since then, I've knew he was my soul mate, and he felt the same way. However, he lived far away so I only saw him a few times a year, but we talked on the phone every night, endlessly. Since then, we've been together for 5 years.





Just last month, he moved over here to be closer to me. (He's almost 19). So my parents know we've been together for the last 5 years now, and they are perfectly fine with it, they absolutely love him. His parents love me too.





Except mine and his parents don't know we're engaged. He proposed to me in September when he came for a visit, and I'm ecstatic about spending the rest of my life to him.





Except if they find out, they definitley wouldn't approve. (Btw- we are both ready to get married, I don't see the point in waiting)





So should we tell our parents we're getting married? I've told my sister that we're getting married, but she keeps saying ';there's no rush, you should wait';





(Btw- we're both aspiring musicians, and we're moving to Europe as soon as we tie the knot.)





I just don't see any point in waiting any longer? Does it really matter if I wait to get married in 2, 4, or 6 years?


I'm planning to get married! Any advice in my situation about the in-laws? (I'm 17)?
Yes it matters.I'm planning to get married! Any advice in my situation about the in-laws? (I'm 17)?
You're young and impulsive. Finish college, wisen up. Because even if you're absolutely certain that he's the one, it could still result in being the worst decision of your life.





And in 4-5 years, your parents would think its much more acceptable to get married and wont be so pissed.
Mature and more money are the two big differences, but I would say if you met when you were 12 and made through 5 years of relationshi[ through your teenage years, you guys are probably not that bad off. I do think it is wrong though to propose to you before you 18 and additionally not telling your parents.
yea, dont get married..17, man you dont even know right from wrong, dont sit here and say you do kuz at 17 i thought the same thing, i almost got married at 18 and waiting was the best thing that ever happened because then i found someone who was better then the person i was going to marrry
waiting wont hurt if you truly are meant to be together. And sometimes you need to grow before you take that serious of a step, You wouldn't want it to go down the drain in a year give it 4 years and you'll know then if it's right
the sooner you get married the sooner you can have a sinful devorce that makes you realize what is really important in your life and get on living they way you want to.
if you dont want to tell them you dont have to. i got married shortly after i turned 18 and knew my parents wouldnt approve so i never told them. its your life and your choice so do whatever makes you happy.
you're an idiot...it does matter if you wait. you grow up and you change, he changes. It's not something to rush into when you're not even out of high school yet. You have a lot of growing up to do and so does he.
You Are Old Enough To Choice for yourself and if your parents love him and his parents love him then i dont see how it would be bad to tell them that ur getting married. You Both Should Go Up To Both of The Parents and Tell Them The News.
Of course it matters. You will be older, wiser and understand life a little bit more.
Yes it matters,you are to young and have not had a life yet.
Looks like you already have your mind made up..it's your choice but you are reallly really young.
Wait till your over 20
go for it ;)
u are not experienced and definitly dont know the real world thats why you think u dont have any point of waiting but u r not right take it easy 17 man what a number dnt get me wrong
don't mean to come off as reprimanding but how the hell did you know he was going to be your soul mate when you were 12 you probably didn't even know how to spell it. You talked on the phone every night? that lets you know your young your priorities aren't right if you talk on the phone with a boy every night until whenever. You were over joyed to spend the rest of your life with him when he proposed but you should have been thinking about the difficulties that will come ahead and if you all will overcome them together. Since you know that they want approve don't get married know you all are engaged and since you say he's your soul mate it shouldn't matter when you all get married. Come on as tough as this world is and not to mention the finical crash were in your going to leave america to pursue music? what happens when you don't make it what will you have to fall back on. Live life don't rush it or be blinded by what you think living life is.
YOUR NUTS! you should live together for a year before you get married, because you find out new and totally different things about eachother some good some bad!! and this way you can really find out if you are able to live with eachother!





if you are planning on staying together forever and it dosn't matter if its 2,4 or six years......then why not wait.....no need to rush it!!
My advice? Wait until you are older. You'll know you are ready when you do not need to come on here for advice on something you should already be mature enough to know.





By the way. Could you register your life at Las Vegas before you go? I want to put my entire savings against your success. 17 and 19? Going behind the back of your parents? Musicians? I could make a fortune on that one. I guarantee it.





p.s. I am not trying to insult you or anything. I sympathize. But I can guarantee you this: 99% of kids in the same situation as you end up divorced in a matter of a couple of years. That is the fact of the matter. I am calling it as I see it! Hey, I hope you're the exception. But the odds are simply against you. I stand by my recommendation to wait. Go to college. Learn something practical. Get some experience in life. THEN try going to Europe and getting married. That's just the smart thing to do!
You're feeling romantic and grown up on the inside - and it's easy to get married. But life, making a life, and ';staying together'; can be more difficult than you know. From the way you described your situation, you're both too young to get married and you don't seem emotionally and materially equipped yet. I wouldn't be surprised if you got pregnant shortly afterward. Would you be able to care for a child too? If you do decide to get married anyway, you'll need all the family support you can from both sides of the family, sooner or later, whether you're here or in Europe. Why not talk with them about your intentions now?
honestly, wait another year at least. Ideally 2 years. You haven't been living with this guy for long. You need to get more used to being around each other constantly before you make a lifelong commitment. 17 is too young to get married. You are still not even an adult, so you really need to wait another year. PEople change alot in the teen years. You will continue to change until you are about 20. But you need to wait a bit longer, because your oarents too, will think you're just rushing into things. I know you don't want to wait, but it is for the best.
17 and 19? Wait. When you turn about 30, your entire personality changes; you've experienced the real world, and figured out who you really are. You know there will be many responses on this question telling you to wait, and there coming from REAL people, with REAL experience on this kind of stuff, so listen to them. Don't make a mistake you'll regret, even if you think your making the right decision.
Go for it. You know what you want and so does he. now to tell your parents about this.





tell them together. You both have thought about this and you know what you want. You are sorry that you didn't do this before consulting them but you want their blessings and acceptance. If you approach them this way then there is a big chance that they will be happy for both of you. Good Luck!!
its your life, your grown up so do what you want.


f you are sure that this is what you want to do then i think you should tell your parents


im sure it would mean so much to them to knw about your life insead of being kept in the dark.


let them get involved and if they dont like it just explain that yoy love this boy and it it turns out to be a mistake then thats your problem and you will learn from it.





ps. congratulations and good luck !!!
I'm not here to tell you what to do with your life, because more than likely you're gonna do what YOU want to do. But, there is a point in waiting...at 17 you are not through the bloom of youth, so you are going to be changing until you are through it. And who knows your values might change, your outlook on life might change, and your taste in men might change. That's why most young marriages end in divorce, I'm not discouraging you I'm just delivering the facts. But it's your life so it's up to you. And yes, tell your parents.
Umm its illegal to get married before ur 18, so wait until then at least, btw if u cant talk to your parents about the most improtant decision in your life u really need to think about why you cant. As an adult making an adult decision it is importnat to be able to take responsibiltites that come with being a married woman and one of those is being able to talk about your choices, and to make decisions. It sounds to me that there is some fear in letting the parents know and that is not a good thing. Also what about college? career? the last thing u want is to be nmarried w/ children and no career or money. Think about ur future what u want to do, there are tons of expereinces to be had. getting married is great but, this is the only time in ur life that u will be 17.
Marriage is really hard, especially if you don't have your families on your side. Sometimes, being older and more mature will help you both make better decisions in regards to your life. You have the rest of your lives to be married, so what's waiting another couple of years until y'all can go to college or save up more money.





I understand you love each other and want to be together, but hiding this from your parents shows me that you're not ready to get married. Marriage is all about openness, honesty, and a commitment to spend the rest of your lives together.





I wish you all the best of luck, and I hope you tell your parents before doing anything rash.
It does matter, because you haven't even finished your education here yet. Being a musician and with the possibility of being famous, you could become a role model without an education would maybe just make you unwanted. I'm younger than you and I agree with your parents and sister. I think you should at least get out of high school, go to college in Europe or something at least? I mean if you know that you are going to be together forever then what's the rush?
Why the rush? If you parents are fine with the relationship, why wouldn't they be okay with you being engaged? I think what's bothering you is that YOU know you're too young to make such a big decision. If you thought you were old enough, you wouldn't be afraid to tell them. The fact that you're hiding it says a lot about your maturity levels.





Do you two have jobs? Where will you live, with parents? All of these things are going to come into play in your parents' reaction to the news.





If you love each other, you'll still be together when you're older and more established. Take it easy.
If there is any reason for you to hide anything right now, then that should tell you something...You need to be with him physically longer to make a better decision though. Talking on the phone is alot different than having someone with you 24/7 living with you. But yea, if you have to hide your engagement then that is a sign that yall are not ready. Dont rush it. It will come to you in due time.
I would freak out if I had a 17 year old daughter who told me she was engaged. No joke, I might drop dead of a heart attack.





I will say that you sound more mature than most of the teens on this site who talk about getting married. They say things like, ';OMG I love him SO much and I just KNOW I want to marry him!!!';, whereas you sound pretty level-headed about it.





Still, I don't feel like I have enough information to completely answer your question...





Do you have money for a wedding?





Is he in college?





If not, is he dropping out to move to Europe with you?








Do you have enough money to move to Europe?





You've only been living in the same area for one month out of the 5 years you've been dating...Don't you think you owe it to your relationship to stay ';boyfriend and girlfriend'; for a bit longer to see what it's like to date him without the distance?
yes it matters! right now you think you have everything figured out and u don't.. life never goes as planned. I not being critical but honest. if you ever had a boyfriend before your fiancee' you just knew you loved him and vice versa now where is he? you could care less. feelings and life change. If you are so sure you are doing the right thing, then why are you hiding it? really why is it a secret? if you have been a couple for 5 years, what difference will another few years make? why the rush to make ';adult'; decisions...I don't know why I bother, you are going to get married soon anyway so why even pose the question?