Men who have been divorced, separated, or are still married. NEED ADVICE, does he want a divorce or not?

Please, I need some constructive criticism and advice that is sincere.











It's been 1.5 years now, does he want a divorce or not?





I haven't talked to my estranged husband for almost a year and I we haven't seen each other and he hasn't seen our son in the same amount of time and has never seen our daughter. I was able to find out his number (previously changed it b/c he tried to get a divorce behind my back) i was mainly wanting to inquire about any divorce papers to be filed and where to send them. I didn't even get to finish my entire message. Why did he sound like he was getting irritated and annoyed? And tells me to stop calling his phone but when I call again to finish my message he answers?





So if I am giving him what he wants...which may be what I want and finally see it's for the best and tell him that, why is he getting defensive, being mean, and hostile?





I'm moving on in life in a very positive direction and am finally living and being the woman I know I was created to be. I'm also doing really well with BOTH our young children which he hasn't seen in almost 2 years and hasn't even given me a penny to help take care of.





He hasn't file as of late.





Yes, we had problems like any other married couple, but he's the one who made the choice to leave his family to be single again and basically free himself of what it takes to be responsible for a family.





There have been so many cruel things he has done not only to me, but while I was pregnant with both children.





Before I met him, I was so goal-oriented and made sure I did what I needed to do to get a job done. Then when we got married, it seemed like he never wanted me to do anything, he always wanted me in the house, etc...I'm sure a lot of you know how THAT goes.





Now, I have gone back to school and basically have the freedom that you need on a daily basis like drive myself somewhere and leave places when I'm ready to leave. BTW, he has had a history of domestic violence, but was never physically violent towards me.





He is 17 years my senior. I'm still in my mid 20s. Maybe the saying ';things fall apart so better things can fall together'; is true. I still have my whole life ahead of me and 2 beautiful kids to raise.





From a male's perspective...what is going on and why is he acting that way?





He filed for divorce last Feb. but the case was dismissed. He didn't even amend anything...just let it go. The judge gave him a total of 50 days to amend and make changes to the grounds he claimed and he didn't make any changes. So the judge dismissed it.





And why hasn't he filed for a divorce again if that's what he really wants?





BTW, I've already filed child support last year, and he recently has been to court...no word yet regarding the outcome. I don't want a divorce...but also am not comfortable with filing for one right now.





So does he want a divorce or not?





I feel like calling him or texting him to ask what the deal is...but then again people are telling me to leave him alone, do not call or text him.





I have been calling the circuit clerk every week to find out what the judge ordered regarding the child support but haven't heard anything yet.





I'm thinking about visiting the state he lives in June not necessarily see him, but my good friends and people from my church who have supported me and continue to support me through all of this.





Is he in a way trying to ';punish'; me by not wanting to do anything with his own flesh and blood?





You sure bet I will do what I need to do to get that child support.





But does he want a divorce or not?Men who have been divorced, separated, or are still married. NEED ADVICE, does he want a divorce or not?
He is probably the biggest looser you will ever meet in your life. I am so glad you are getting on with your life.


Please dont make mistake of going back to him, and upsetting the children again.


Have you applied for Medicaid and WIC assistance. I work at hospital that does these applications as a courtesy for women and men in need.


You can also apply online (in Florida, maybe other states)Men who have been divorced, separated, or are still married. NEED ADVICE, does he want a divorce or not?
sorry i'm just a guy who hates reading long storys about crap.
I see a MAJOR red flag on your part through this story.





this man drops off the face of the earth-hasn't even seen his own daughter and you DON'T want a divorce?!!! think about your kids here for once second-would you want to try and ';work out'; a marriage with the guy who cares so little about his children that he hasn't seen one in over a year and has NEVER seen the other?!!!





go to court and file for divorce-period, no questions asked. you need to be strong and a good role model for your children. this man is abusive and has no issues with kicking you to the curb at will, how will you explain it to your kids when they are old enough to understand? what are you going to say to them when dad just up and walks out the door for no reason at all?!!





file the divorce and for FULL custody (only allow him supervised visitation with a state social worker-if he doesn't want this then file for you having SOLE custody-which means he will have no visitation rights).





do NOT allow him to sign his rights over-my ex tried to pull this one to get out of child support. I explained to the judge that I didnt make our daughter on my own, I shouldn't have to pay for her on my own-the judge agreed and for the first 6 months our divorce was final, my ex saw nothing of his daughter and was paying me 400/month in support. you have the right to gather support from him regardless of whether or not he wants to see his children, don't let him slide on this or you will suffer later.





so regardless of what papers you think he's filed-YOU go to court and file for divorce, full or sole custody, and child support. do not contact him for any reason-even after you know he's received the divorce papers. you can hash out the issues in court. the state you live in should be able to provide you with free services to file the paper work and provide you an attorney for court as well.





do this for your kids-they are the innocent one in this and need to be protected. if the father of my 3 daughters disappeared for a year-there is no way in heck i'd allow him to ever see his kids again.
I think the answer is fairly clear hun. Go file for divorce under abandonement. It will be shorter and more to the point. Also .. if he has not lived with you in that period and refuses to give you the needed information it once again falls under abondonement issues.


As for your children and what is involved with him and them. AS you said do what is needed to get the child support .. give him the option of visitation with the kids even though he has not seemed to interested from what you are saying. While i know it is painful for both you and them.. if the man has not bothered to have anything to do with you he has made his choice. I may sound harsh but the simple fact is .. he already made his decision now it is time to make yours.


I am not a male so i cannot answer in the manner you want. I can simply say .. it sounds as if he is just your typical Jerk and he is trying to avoid the whole alimony situation by making it look as if you are very much able to care for yourself. Once again I would file for divorce with abandonement at the heart of it because essentially that is what he has done.
He doesnt a guy most of the time doesn't want to lose a woman that he loved. The problems that you faced in the relationship will change, because he felt what life would be like without you. Trust me if you take him back he will change, but you have to tell him how you felt about the situation. This is what you do evaluate the negative traits you portrayed and think about the negative traits you husband portrayed tell him if you take him back he will have to change(read of list of negative traits) if he agrees things will change for the better. Your relationship will be enriched. This is the best advice I can give you, trust me he will be subject to change, if he is ready to change. If he agrees to change this negative traits he doesn't want a divorce. But you yourself has to change you cant put it all on him, you yourself need to ask yourself if you are ready for a divorce if the answer is no, fight for your marriage. If yes the marriage will not work out.
Hey, it seems you're more anxious to get this done than him and he probably knows it. So, this is his way to make you boil in hate and that give him pleasure. You say you've moved on to better things, well then continue and forget about him. There must be some way to finalize the divorce or what happens when the other spouse just never signs the papers?
Sorry your question was too long, but yes, I'd say that he doesn't want to be in a relationship. You haven't seen him in over a year and he has never seen his daughter? Do you really want to stay ';married';? I think you need to start the divorce proceedings and get the court to order him to start paying child support. Good luck.
the man wants nothing to do with you. Probably just wanted sex and knocked you up...then felt bad try to fix things knocked you up again and regretted it.





As for the divorce im sure its a long process and he just doesnt want to deal with it anymore. Your young with kids...get you life together and forget about him...he wants nothing with you