my boyfriend is married, i know its wrong, but we really care about each other, but he doesnt want to leave his wife because he fears that she will never let him see his children again...anyone have any positive advice, i already know what i am doing is stupid, and wrong.Need advice on dating a married man?
Did I miss the line in the questions that said ';Morality Police, please submit your offenses';? You people who come on here and preach when she asking for advice need to stop judging.
Sweetie - if he has told you he will not leave his wife, regardless of the reason, and you are okay with that, then so be it. Unfortunately, over time you will feel worse about yourself because you cannot have him whenever you want. At that point, you have to decide if your happiness is more important than what you are being delivered. Best of luck ~Need advice on dating a married man?
This man does not care about you, and he will not leave his wife - they never do. He's enjoying his cake and eating it! At the end of the day if he had reason for divorce then he would but he doesn't does he? His wife does however on the grounds of adultery and if she were to find out she can name you as the 3rd party and you may have to appear in court. If he is serious about leaving his wife he would have by now and he would also realise that his wife cannot stop him from having access rights to his children. So stop wasting your life and find someone thats not attached.
don't date him. If he gets involved with you, betraying his wife's trust, then there is no reason why he won't (or isn't already) doing the same to you.
By you knowing that he is married and getting involved with him, you are in a way telling him that commitment and honesty are not important and they he may cheat and lie if he wants to. Honesty and commitment are two major things you deserve in a relationship.
As for him ';not seeing his children again';, that's a BS line. Courts these days do a good job of allowing men to see their children. What he fears is getting caught. He sounds to me like he's a little selfish and a liar. You deserve better.
Answer: He is using you. Leave.
I think I've heard every excuse in the book. A woman will say a million reasons why he loves her and wants to be with her and how he cares, but the bottom line is if he is not willing to leave his wife for you, then you are his TOY. Forever bound to secrecy, hiding out, never knowing his friends, not having your own family...
Positive Advice: You are worth so much more. You deserve to find someone who is only for you and you CAN find that person. Get rid of this jerk, you wouldn't want a man that you totally click with, marry, have kids, cheating on you either. It's tough finding that right person, but you can meet people through friends, go back to college for a couple courses and meet new people... etc.
it has really nothing to do with the children, he is going to spend most of his time with his wife and children and you when he wants to (rarely if ever)
he can still see them if he gets a divorce
excuses excuses lying (what the relationship is made of)
he is using you and he told you he is not going to leave his wife
he is comfortable with what he has and your relationship is a secret
you should just end the relationship and find someone single
Without passing judgment, there is no positive advice that you can get. He doesn't want to leave his wife. That's kinda where your situation stands. If you care about him, you wouldn't want him to leave his wife and lose his children. If he cared about you, he'd leave you alone and set your heart free. Sometimes life works so that the one you want, won't be the one you get. Therefore, you have to love the one you're with. That sounds so cliche but it so true. I've been the one on the side before and have had on the sides myself. I can almost promise you that your situation will go no where.
I think more than anything else, you've found yourself caught up. I don't think you're dumb and I can only consider you stupid if you really think that anything will come of this. The best advice I can give you: Enjoy the ride! 'cause a ride is all you'll get from him. If children weren't involved, you may have had a shot. But, with him having kids, you can forget it.
Well since you already no that it is wrong and stupid I will leave that part out okay. But women need to understand that when you mess with a married man that man is never ever your man. And he is never going to leave his wife and family. So why would you waste your time. How would you feel if you were married and you find out that your husband is messing around on you. That wouldn't be a good feeling so stop doing it someone else.
Call him up right now %26amp; tell him you can never see him again...it is wrong what you are doing %26amp; he's only using the kids as an excuse. Why would he leave her if he can have his cake (his family) and eat it too (you). You will be the one hurt in the end. He will NEVER commit to you. Ever. Find someone who is available who will cherish you and devote their complete time %26amp; life to you.
What advice is there to give?
He is not going to leave his wife - not because of the kids - because he doesn't want to - and why should he? You are going to be there regardless.
You are smart enough to know that what you are doing is stupid and wrong - wise up and get out of the situation. You know the universe kicks our butts later for the crappy things we do now - right?!
Good luck.
How do you expect to get positive advice with that question. That's just down right wrong, wrong, wrong. He obviously is just using you or he would leave his wife for you. He just tells you it's about his kids so you'll stick around. How would you feel if you were his wife and his wife was you? If he does leave his wife for you that will be you one day. jmo
There is no positive side to your situation. You say he cares about you, but who does he spend holidays with? Her. Which relationship does he have to hide from the world? Yours.
Any relationship where you have to be hidden like a dirty little secret is demeaning and will ultimately end unhappily for you. Even if you ended up with this cheating dog, you'll never be able to trust him.
There are a lot of single guys out there just looking for a wonderful woman to devote themselves to. Free yourself from this toxic situation and find someone who can shout out to the world, ';THIS IS MY WOMAN AND I LOVE HER!';
Here is some advice for ya! My experience is that she did it to me... We are back together now, but not sure it will ever be the same... She was drawn by him (a friend of ours, he was married as well ) into a relationship that was more or less purely sexual. She seriously thought about ending it with me for him because he had said he would do the same thing... but she eventually figured it out that he was only after her p***y and nothing else. Let him go, go find you a single guy to satisfy your needs
*** SWEET MILDRED IS IN THE HOUSE! AND WANTS YOU TO CRAWL INTO THE PLAYPEN WITH ME FOR SOME FUN***
I know your looking for positive but there is no positive to this. Is he really worth your time? Because I wouldn't want to waist my time dating a guy I would never get to really be with. Then think about his family. He has kids and a wife. If he really loved you he would leave his wife, he can fight for the kids in court. Seriously, don't waist your time!
I say if you guys are meant to be together than things will work out. maybe you should help him find a good divorce lawyer that has worked with custody issues. The wife may be really upset at first but unless she is a cruel woman she wont keep her kids from their father. Good Luck! I say give him a time frame that you feel comfortable with ie. you have six months to make a decision between the two of you wife or girl friend. He needs to make a decision. Hope things work out for you. And he is also making the same ';stupid and wrong'; choice you are.
Why can't you both be just good friends and respect his marriage life? You know, I have some good company with other married women, before their husbands, but I truly respect them as good female friends. Their non jealousy husbands know that we all hangout at house party's, bbq cookouts and stuff. Anyways, be careful with that Karma thing,[what comes around, goes around] because it may happen to you when you least expect it and you cannot escape the consequences. GL
So...um...if you know that its stupid and wrong...why to you persist?
I know that while filling the gas tank of my car at the pumps while lighting up a Camel is stupid and wrong as well...so I refrain from doing so.
What's your excuse. And please.....not ';Because I love him';. The reason he won't leave his wife isn't over the kids. Trust me on this. Its the fact he'll end up having to shell out a small fortune in child support..probably alimony...and if they have a house she'll land that with him paying the mortgage and keeping whatever vehicle she uses and him paying on that as well.
In the meantime my dear, you offer a place (I assume you have an apartment) where he can go and crawl in between your thighs and experience a muscle spasm or two.
In a nutshell......'Why purchase the cow when you get the milk for nothing'.
Perhaps you should re-evaluate your situation and take a good, hard look at when you fit into the grand scheme of things here.
ive been in your shoes and i feel for you but the bottom line is this... he belongs to someone else and eventually you are guna get tired of him living his life ';her'; way... i do understand the child situation to a point but in being there for his kids he is also being there for ';her'; and that will eat at you after a while no matter how much you love each other. Sorry just my experience. Good Luck.
how can people have advice that is positive for something you say you KNOW is stupid and wrong?????????????
you just want someone to k$ss your $ss.
You have no respect for yourself. someday if you GAIN it - you will look back and realize what I am saying is true, until then, keep disrespecting yourself, your man's wife, and the vows he took.
No, he doesn't want to leave his wife because they have a family and she matters to him, and you are just sex on the side.
Not that he family matters that much to him in the first place since he is with you.
Get a single guy, moron.
OK HERES THE ADVICE... LET HIM GO. HES A MARRIED MAN! YOU HAVE NO RESPECT FOR YOURSELF AND HE DOESNT HAVE RESPECT FOR THE WOMAN HES MARRIED TO ARE YOU. WOMEN LIKE YOU THAT RUIN FAMILIES IS A SHAME TO THE ENTIRE NATION. GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR *** AND GO FIND A SINGLE GUY STOP DAMAGING FAMILIES!
i know you can't help the way you feel but try not to get too attached...he will never leave his wife and he will never fully be yours...take what you can get and take it day by day...come to terms with being 'the other woman'...eventually it will end.
Keep doing what you are doing, either way the wife will find out and then the ball is in her court. Basically he has his cake and is eatring it too and you are allowing him to do it!
Don't do it! A lot of people including you and his children could get hurt. You need to end it now and find someone who can give you 100% of his attention. These things never work out. Don't risk hurting innocent people.
If he does not care enough about his wife to be faithful. He will never be faithful to you.
Stay away. If he was your dad what would you want him to do... Stay with your mom. Leave him alone. You will be glad you did.
Yes, what you are doing is stupid and wrong, but the fact that you are believeing the crock of sheeot that he is feeding you says that you aren't too bright to begin with.
I will sum this up for you dummy, do not get involved with married men at all. If you know it is wrong, then do not do it, it is very simple.
well then stop asking for advice. you are being stupid and wrong.
He is doing you a huge favor by showing you his true character...do you think he won't cheat on you too?
Have you no self respect?
Advice: Don't do it.
If you don't want to take that advice- wear a bulletproof vest because you never know when your boyfriend's wife will show up on your doorstep wanting to shoot your a.ss!
He will never leave his wife %26amp; you should not settle for second best either. There are too many single men out there to waste your time on one that is already taken. Plus neither one of you would ever trust each other.
You have to ask yourself what are you really getting out of this relationship. If he will not leave his family (which I applaud him for) then why continue seeing him, knowing you will only be hurt?
That is not a good excuse that if he lives his wife she wont let him see the children its because he still loves her he is not going to leave her for something like you i dont think...respect yourself
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