Help!! Need advice from Married Women!!?

I am 22, and my boyfriend of over one year is 27. We are planning on getting married very soon. I love him so much and honor him as a man. But he worries about money A LOT!! I am still in college, and since we want to have children before I hit thirty or so, we are determined that I finish soon. So I have to work part time, and that just covers my bills. So he gets stuck with rent and etc. He has a masters and a good job, but it still puts strain on him. Plus, we want to move to Tx (from CA) and buy a home that we can raise our children in (4+ bedrooms). I still have about two years of school left. I'll have my BA in Market %26amp; Advertising. And then I'll have only a few years to get estabilished before we have kids. Then go back for my masters and continue working. It seems like a long string of waiting and planning. Is this typical?? Will this eventually lead to arguments and stress?? Help!!Help!! Need advice from Married Women!!?
I did the same thing. But I made hy husband (now) wait until after I graduated from college (2004) before we got married. Money was tight, and he worked full time while I attended Santa Clara University. California wasn't cheap, so we moved out to Vegas. Now I am back in school for my master's. If an education is important to yoiu then get it, don't let anything stop you. If you are really crunched by money try the whole University of Phoenix , or some other online classes, that will allow you to work more if needed. As he has an education, he must realize it's importance and if he truly loves and respects you, he will help where he can. I had to use some of my financial aid money to help pay off a credit card, so that it was one less payment a month that we had to deal with.Help!! Need advice from Married Women!!?
This isn't the 1880's anymore. Women in their 40's have children and some even older. Although, I wouldn't recommend that. Finish school. You will never be content being a parent if you give it up before you've completed. Make an adjustment in your life style to take up the slack in financial situation. Texas is a great state to move to. Property values are far better than California which has an outrageous cost of living even for someone with a masters.


Whatever you do , STAY IN SCHOOL!
it's good to be concerned about finances, many people aren't. But he needs to understand that worrying about it won't help, he just has to make wise financial decision and save as much as possible. Two young people with degrees - you have nothing to worry about.


By the way, you are planning things out too specifically, life never goes as planned. As long as you have a master plan that's fine but to actually plan out a timeline, you will be disappointed.
Of course it will be stressful, but at least you have a plan. Good luck.
well if he is as good as he seems to be , it shouldn't. he seems to be right behind you in all of it.
I married a man that is 5 years older than me. I finished college and went straight into babies. Now I am 24, married for 5 years and have 3 children 4years and under. I haven't used my degree yet but I don't know if I can even remember the important stuff.





Finish school and use that degree for a little while and then look at family. Buy the house before kids. You both need to communicate thoughts and ideas and plan things out with the money.
It is typical, but it is worth it. I got married not to long ago and I feel the same way! It can lead to arguments and stress if you let it. What my husband and I did is we sat down and we talked about finances, because I am a worry wart just like your boyfriend. We came up with a game plan, because there is never a time were you will be financially ready for kids. Though you can be in a financially stable. So come up with that point when you are financially stable before you start anything. Break everything down into parts. OK so you want to get married. What is a good point in school that you can get married. Is it before or after you finish in two years. If it is before then when would be the best time to get married. Then after that do you want to move after or before you finish school? Is it more ideal if you wait and move after school so you can help pay bills? And so on and so forth. Break everything down and write it down. I know it seems like alot and it is, but if you have a plan and take things as they come it will make alot easier for you two! Try and relax I know it is hard, but if you take your time everything will work out! Good luck and congratulations
As long as he is supportive of you and you guys continue with this master plan of yours for a good life for yourselves and any children that may come of this marriage, then there should be no problems. As for strain on him, he knew when he met you that you were in school (or I'm assuming he did) and therefore he should be there for you until you are finished what you are setting out to do.
It is typical. I think that the important thing to do is finish school before you make any greater commitments. There are so many things that will benefit from it. I think its a great plan and it may add stress and arguments but in the long run its so worth it and as far as my experience it wasnt ever very bad as long as your both in agreement that this is the best way of doing things and that you support each other in your choices, you guys should be fine.
Stop planning and start living... Going to school is life, too. Things are never ';perfect';, there's always the ';next best thing'; to work towards, but it doesn't mean you can't enjoy the journey. I don't blame your man worrying about money, getting married and planning a family is a big step. But it sounds like you still have several years before your ';target'; age to have children... A lot can change between now and then, and being flexible is just as important as planning... I think, there's a balance between planning for the future and taking it one day at a time; if he's more of a ';planner';, perhaps you could contribute the ';day at a time'; perspective to balance it out.
When things get tense because of money, and he's paying more than you, remember to thank him and be nice to him.
sounds like you need to wait.... dont let your biological clock have you make hasty descisions.......


If you are this crazy now it wont get better because of marriage vows....... I promise.
money is a huge issue for most couples, but as a mom, i would advice finishing school first if at all possible before having kids, so if problems do arise then there will not be any kids in the middle to see it, i know you want to have kids before your thirty but thats 8 yrs away and if i understood u, you only have 2 yrs in school left, i would finish school then move, get a home, then have kids....... i believe its very typical, buts kids do change everything, so life plans will have to change when you have kids, and there is really no way around that.......
Good luck with the plan -- there ae a lot of years between you and the end result. I wold say calm down and take it day by day. It is wise to have goals, but set them one at a time. Too many on the plate ill almost certainly end in a disapointment.
Wait 3 years before you marry.


Finish school secure a job and save, save, save for a year. Then plan your wedding and hitch up. Trust me you do not want to start a marriage with the stress of finances now. The first year of marriage should be discovering each other in ways you don't know each other in and getting use to each others habits, that is enough to break a relationship, so why bring in financially worries at the same time, when you don't need to.


If you can't wait to marry then ask yourself why...why are you in such a hurry? If you love him dearly now, then whats going to change in 3 years.





I wish the best for you
if u are wanting children soon (assuming that U are wanting to raise them) what is the rush for u to finish school....u will soon be staying home with the children anyway....u already have a BA just get a freaking job and stop being an ';always student'; and help out with the finances
It sounds like to me you both have a good head on your shoulders. I have been married for 4 years and I've learned one thing that I feel like you need to know and so does he... Money isn't everything... don't ever argue over money, you two seem to be headed in the right direction, it sounds like you've got it all planned out pretty well, so until kids come relax, don't worry about money so much, get your education taken care of, find that house you want in Texas and enjoy each others company.