I really need advice from married people, please???

CityGirl


18 minutes ago





How do you help to motivate your spouse? Read on.....?


My husband and I , along with our 2 year old son, moved to California after hurricane Katrina. ...my husband is so homesick and depressed about missing his friends and family, that he has almost given up on trying to make his family happy!! I understand how he feels, it hurts me too that we are so far from home, but what can I do or say to make him realize that this is our life now!!!! I mean, its not like we are financially able to pack up and move again!! My son and I just adore him, but seeing him so depressed all the time is really a big turn off and its getting old! He mopes around the apartment like Ross Gellar from the show FRIENDS......Please, help me, what can I do to be a supportive wife, and cheer him up some???? I'm doind my best to keep him happy, but I really need some good advice!I really need advice from married people, please???
It's so very sweet of you to try and help him thru this...and good for you in doing so!! Just try to let him know that you really do understand what he's feeling but unfortunately you can't afford to move again. Ask him if he would work towards building up the money to move in the meantime and you would consider it. It may just take a little motivation to get him up %26amp; moving....and once he has the momentum, he may find that he actually likes where you are now and won't want to move again after all. Depression is a very real thing....and he may not be able to just ';snap out of it';. Have him go to the doctor and rule out any medical reasons...I know from experience that an underactive thyroid can give the same symptoms. If he checks out ok medically, your doctor may be able to get him some therapy. Best of luck to you and your family. My thoughts and prayers are with you.I really need advice from married people, please???
This guy is depressed all right, and he needs more help than you can give him. Try some 'tough love' to get him into counselling - there must be a mental health clinic somewhere near you. Say ';I love you dearly, but you're making all of us miserable. Get help.'; And you get some supportive counselling too.
Before following Monty's advice, I would get the family set up for counseling (I'm sure the State of California does have resources to help Katrina victims pay for that), and if after a while, your husband doesn't change, then CONSIDER doing what Monty said, and not before.
I can say one thing about coming to California. This and NY are the two top competitive places to live.





I would recommend getting on the horn to his Dad/Mom and ask them to call him to snap out of it, and be a man, and stand UP.





Besides, I can't think of a better palce in the entire US where there is more opportunity than California...I moved out from OHIO, got my engineering degree here, and NEVER looked back.
you are lame...he is lame...split now and forever hold your peace
This is a tough one. First of all I know what you are going through, my family and I are victims of hurricane Rita and it was so hard at first, it still is. We all get homesick, that's normal. I think your husband maybe needs to get counsoling for this-he shouldn't be depressed that bad still. He needs to be thankful that at least everyone is ok. Have you tried talking to him about this? Let him know that this is really getting to you also. Good luck with your situation.
Ooooh, that's a tough one. I feel kinda hypocritical trying to answer that, since I was miserable the one year of my life that I was away from my home town. Try to replicate as much as you can from where you used to live, your family's old habits, whatever you did for fun before. It might take some being pushy on your part, but look around to find hang-outs for him similar to where he liked to go in your old city, and bring him there. Increase contact with family and friends (more phone calls, emails, visits if possible)....it is still cheaper than moving! Get a webcam, and get your family/friends webcams for Christmas or their birthdays, etc.
Wow, what crude answers you 've had so far.....


That's a tough situation for anyone to be in, but lots of us are unhappy working a job that we don't like, maybe living away from some old friends, but you have to look on the bright side and enjoy the time you have here on Earth - It's not always going to be all peaches and cream - there are tough times. Just let him know that you care and be supportive, but share that you're turned off by the depression, ank ask him to snap out of it and enjoy the life's moments that you have together - NO Matter where you are in the world.....
You married a complete loser. Homesick vs his family - dump his sorry *** and buy him a one-way bus ticket to that dump he calls home.