Mature married people advice please?

My boyfriend and i met and knew almost immediately that we were meant to be - whatever that means....but we just did. He told me two nights ago that he knows he'll be with me forever and last night told me sometimes i remind him of his grandmother who he's always adored....how does one keep a relationship alive and still keep it exciting. We are both truly in love for the first time in our lives :) although we've both been married before and want to keep it that way.....Mature married people advice please?
just because you've been in previous marriages...... don't think that you know what to avoid this time... or how to fix everything.





every relationship is different..... it takes time, energy, commitment, respect... honesty.... communication..... sacrifices.... etc... to make a marriage work





if you both want it..... it will happen.... relax and enjoy the ride.Mature married people advice please?
You always take time out to have mini vacations and downtime with each other. Don't let life and the world get in your way or cause stupid fights between you. You also need to take down time away from each other even if you feel you do not need it so you keep that ';I miss him or her'; in your heart and you ';want'; to spend time with each other. Don't forget to also make sure you have your own personal goals and meet them as well so you do not resent each other later in life for something you may have missed out on.
Work, Work, Work..keep your communication open and frequent. Talk about changes,talk about everything you both or going threw on the daily. Try new things together. I tell all my friends that get married..me and my wife stay in love because we are best friends. You both have to do whatever it takes to please each other..WHATEVER IT TAKES!. Men and Women cheat because there partner quit doing something right,or just not doing it at all. What im trying to say is...





If im walking down the street,and i see ah chick in some red heels with ah white skirt and it turns me on,then i go home and tell my wife..baby..i seen this women in some red heels and ah white skirt,and it was hot,can you put that on next time we have sex,it would really turn me..and you better believe she will ahve it on next time we in bed,and that's the type of stuff that keeps us one on one,and in love.





You have to stay current,and always do the small things. Know what he likes and doesn't like,and always do what he likes. Find out what turns him on. I have been with my wife for ten years now,and they have been ten good years. we party together,watch football together,we debate on everything,it's fun. She never bows down to me,i love it!. She has ah mind,and it's ah turn on. Be everything his last wife was not,and he will be happy forever. divorce is the outcome of lost communication.
Ok...try not to over analyze the situation.





Enjoy being in love with each other. Hopefully both of you learned some Do's and Dont's from you previous marriages.





Always implement and practice honesty and open communication.





Pick your battles b/c no one is perfect








Hot sex doesn't hurt either...LOL
You both have to work at a relationship. Respect and understanding are the keys. Dont get mad over the little things, and dont think that just because you feel something he should also. Also, dont give hints, most men cant deal with hints. If you want/need something, just come out and say it.
everyone is diffrent i have been married almost 8 years and i find that i am happier now then i was when we first married...if you have children then it can be difficult to keep that spark going but make time for each other have a date night it dont matter that you are married set aside a night once a week to be the 2 of you keep the date dont change it that way you know no matter what you have the one night a week to look forward to sparking that flame again every week ..... good luck
I have been Married 8 years





Hate to be the bringer of bad news.... but if exciting is what you expect forever to be (like in the movies), then you are setting your self up for a let down. Relationships take work. Take what the bible defines love as in 1 Corinthians, 13:4-7





Love is long-suffering and kind. Love is not jealous, it does not brag, does not get puffed up, does not behave indecently, does not look for its own interests, does not become provoked. It does not keep account of the injury. It does not rejoice over unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.





In all of that you don't read ';Keep things Exciting';. Don't get me wrong, but Exciting is good, but just not an emotion of love. Love is much more deep.
..stop thinking !!!!
Wow it sounds so nice, I to am on my second marriage and it is totally different from the first and I had a good marriage my husband actually passed away when I was only 30. I had something special with him but much different then my current relationship. My second husband and I made an instant connection, we keep things exciting by always planning a date night just for us, sometimes out for dinner and movie, sometimes a nice drive and dinner, or sometimes just cuddle time on the couch, what ever it is when you are really in love it all seems very special. The other thing that helps is well is to share a hobbie like we share in interest in hunting and fishing, but perhaps you and your man can find something you both enjoy doing together as well...............Good luck and a wish for continued happiness!!!
He comes first to you and you come first to him. Give each other space. No nagging. Do fun things, be fiscally conservative, enjoy sex.
What it takes to get the relationship, it takes to 'keep' the relationship. Don't take each other for granted. My hubby and I treat each other the exact same way 'today' as we did 5 years ago and our love is still going crazy and strong!!! True love really is GRAND!!! My relationship with my husband is 'not' work, it's a pleasure for both he and I. =)
I would be uncomfortable with the fact that I reminded him of his grandmother... thats odd. I cant see having a paternal/ sexual relationship with someone. Maybe it was just a random comment, or something you said that reminded him of his grandmother. But was that really your question, or just the part that caught my attention?
Dont let life interfere in you relationship, you know the kids, bills, house, dogs, chores, errands etc..


Always stay best friends.


And set time aside for the two of you (atleast a once a week), could be date night or just a walk together, but during that time dont talk about any of the above, instead reconnect.


Always take the time to listen, try to be patient, communicate.


Dont let love making get boring. Learn to put things (the little things that get in your nerves) on a grace list.


Remember things arent going to be perfect, you are going to argue. But when you do argue the point! Dont attack eachother personally! Fight over only whats worth fighting over. And dont take it personal if you do argue, it doesnt mean you love each other any less.


Apologize if your wrong, hug alot!
it really depends on the reason for the divorce in your cases. find out what the motiviation was for his last wife to leave the relationship. if it had anything to do with abuse - mental or physical, don't go there. guys can be one way while you are getting to know them, then change into a monster after you get married. since you are divorced once, you must know that things aren't always the way they seem when you begin. life is a journey - and once you have experienced something you thought was forever and it wasn't, you need to be extra cautious the second time around. see the divorce papers or do a background check on your new man. sounds like it is encouraging distrust, but if there is nothing for him to fear in his background, then there is no distrust - you just proving to yourself that he is the person he says he is. hope this helps.
I think humor and compromised makes my relationship alive. We both were able to laugh at each other's jokes even when others don't find it that funny. And little things he does, still seem the cutest ever. And I also learn to appreciate little efforts he make. Realized that there are things he hates to do, but will only do it for me, even for the very littlest time, means a lot to me.
he may of meant that in a good way . i had someone tell me that exact same thing but when i asked him to explain what he meant by it he meant i remind him of his grandmother because of the relationship she had with his grandfather they were together for 60yrs until death did them part. so he probably meant he sees the same values in you he seen in his grandmother
Well there is no ';how to'; book on marriage (as much as we wish there was). It takes respect, faith, communication, liveliness,togetherness and alot of trying. Don't over think about how to make it work when you haven't gotten there yet. If you plan it out it will never work. What you do is live day to day and make each other happy. Keep the laughter in you relationship always. There is always the following day to make up for the day before. Live each day to the fullest and always hug and kiss like you just met. Good luck to you and your hunny.
One thing to ask is why your last relationship ended. With that you know yourselves a lot better now then you used to. Would you divorce again for the same reason or is that something you can handle now.


It sounds like you will have great respect for each other unless one of you betrays the other. Get to know each other now, make sure you let out what things may happen that could be seen as betrayal before you are confronted with them in reality. That way what is and is not okay can be clear, and if there are some things that would breach the trust you may just want to be best friends.
Give your bf a list of things (about 10 items) you have always wanted to do but haven't. Have your bf do the same. Pick one thing from each list and do it together.





Another thing, when things get old go on a vacation to a place you haven't been before. Don't be afraid to throw some spice into your relationship.
You do everything you can to make him happy and think of yourself second. He, in turn, should do everything he can to make you happy and thinks of himself second. That's really it. The challenge is being able to adapt and change over time because, you will both change over time. That is where the real chemistry comes in.





Don't suffocate each other (be sure to allow time to do things with friends and maintain outside relationships so you can get away from each other) yet, make sure you also commit to spending time together. It's easy to get caught up in your own life (kids, work, etc.) to take your partner for granted over time.
Wait until you're married to have sex. A study was recently done that showed that people who waited until they were married reported higher levels of satisfaction with their sex lives and with their marriages, and they had a significantly lower divorce rate. When you have sex with other people or before you're married, it takes something away from the one thing that was designed to bring the most intimacy. Every time my husband and I have sex I am so grateful we both waited - it's so much better than it would have been had we both had competing memories or emotions. It also creates a huge trust bond - I know he will never cheat on me now that he's got me because he never cheated on me before he knew me. That is security like my friends who had sex before they were married will never know, by their own admission.
Just Communicate With each Other. Don't Sweat the Small stuff.
Good for you. You keep your relationship alive by being committed to it no matter what. And plenty of sex.
My husband %26amp; I have been married 21 yrs. I was 30, he was 27 - his 2nd my lst marriage. When we met it was almost precisely like yours - we immediately KNEW this was IT! We were engaged in a month and married within 6 months - quite the whirlwind.





I think at our age it was ok - although not typically wise or adviseable to JUMP in like that. I think you just need to take a step back, enjoy the moment now, but get to know eachother - talk alot, communicate, be as open %26amp; honest as possible, talk about every possible thing you can, see eachother in all kinds of settings %26amp; situations, strive for fun anad enjoyment, sharing, giving moments - with as little superficiality as possible. Keep it real - let TIME show you the long term possibilities. I wouldn't advise you to JUMP in like I did - enjoy it now and see how it progresses. YOU want to be sure of him and you. Let it happen naturally and if things are as terrific as you say - they will STAY that way.


You don't want to set yourself to be hurt and given the initial attraction %26amp; excitement you see with him - you are already in a vulnerable place. SO - be up front and completely emotionally with him - but be cautious nonetheless.
be honest with each other


make quality time to be together (ie not just watching tv together and not just having sex)


laugh together


don't take each other for granted


say ';I love you'; and ';I'm sorry';
Just give him plenty of what you'd want from him, and you'll do fine. Be willing to go 100% all the time (50/50 means you expect something and meeting someone half-way doesn't really show a true commitment does it?) Make sure you love, honor, respect, remain faithful, have honesty, keep communication lines open and even have sex when each other needs it, and it'll work out. You will still have ups and downs, but it's how you roll with the harder times that will make the marriage stronger.
I believe that if he treats you the way you need to be treated and you are truly sincere about what you say, it will just work out. Every relationship requires sacrifice and compromise. Most people seem to be too selfish to give up either anymore.
Be spontaneous. Don't let things become a routine or mundane. Tell each other I love you with actions and kind gestures instead of words sometimes. After 16 years of marriage I've learned that it's important to pick your battles, remembering that you can't always be right. Arguing a lot will lead to negative feelings towards the relationship. Avoid this at all costs! Trust, honesty and respect are an obvious necessity. Weekend getaways to new places and remembering something thats important to your spouse, keep the bond strong and secure. If true love is what you have, let your heart be your guide..the rest will follow. I knew shortly after I met my husband that he was the one. He said the same about me. I'm not saying we haven't had a few rough patches, but 95% of our marriage has been beautiful. I wish you nothing but the best.