Hey mistakes happen, and you thought you were doing the right thing, unfortunately it came back to bite you.
The main thing that's crossing my mind is that your husband and you should be on the same side, suupporting each other in this. It sound slike he is to some extent, but definitely not enough.
Tell him you really need him to back on this, and that the two of you need to figure something out.Desperately need advice(married ppl only) PLEASE!!10 POINTS for best answer?
Well I am not married yet (may 2008 Woohoo) however I do have experence with In Laws. I notice a couple of things 1st you say that your husband has told them before that what happens in you house is you business. 2nd you have children in the hous hold and 3rd you SIL attacked you
It is time to have a serious conversation with you husband. The in-laws need to go. There is no since in this. He needs to stand up for his family and should have been this whole time. There is no reason for people to be attacking each other he really needs to think about your children. marriage and family is hard enough with out adding inlaws. I can see that you probally wanted to help them when they moved in in 2005 but that is 3years ago it's time for them to be on there own. If you husband can't understand that and doesn't care about the safety of you and your children the I would hit the road untill they are gone. If he really loves you and your family he will stand by you miind has!
Boundries are important for a reason. This is a bad time, enforce your order....your husband is in a hard spot and doesn't know what to do. (even though I think he should be standing beside you with this all of the way) Don't take this from his family or anyone....ever.
Do what's best for your family.
First of all if your husband loves your he should not allow this to happen - IN YOUR HOME....in his home....and not give you that answer - that it's your choice but he won't like it if you serve her....wtf?....he might feel like he's in the middle - but he should act like a man and take care of this.....speaking up to his mother and sister that this will not be allowed in the household.
dont sever his mother. look into moving yourself. good luck.
In my own house I call the shots. I let those that I have in my home know that it's my house, and the only thing I ask is pay your bills, pick up after yourselves, and contribute to the things we all use..electricity..water or cable. 1/2 on groceries.
In your situation your in-laws are taking over your household, and you're letting them. Speak up, cause hubby already said you can. Having to attack you in your own home is horrible. They're bad examples in this case.
Give them notice that you want them out. You have enough stress to deal with and that is your son. You don't need outsiders to come in and dictate to you what to do? I know I won't tolerate this.
Damn! Sure hope the SIL isn't still living with you....Apparently it was a mistake allowing her to live with you in the first place...As far as your MIL....I would forget about her....for now....but if she tries something in the near future...have her served immediately....your husband has one messed up family!
simple answer is you moved them in now move them out tell them you dont want them living with you anymore give them 3 weeks to find somewhere else or go to the council if your in the UK
In laws are a touchy subject. ie blood %26amp; water.
Why are they living with you?, could you not ask them to leave.
If not then your husband is going to have to come up with some ground rules for them to be allowed to live in your house %26amp; stick to them. He needs to back you up.
Being always courteous %26amp; polite to his wife %26amp; kids being number 1 priority.
If its a big enough house, live seperately as much as possible, tv's in their rooms etc, seperate eating times. With the time being spent together always to be in your husbands presence.
Serving the MIL, wont accomplish anything, it will just add to the tensions.
You'd best not have a restraining order placed against his mother. That's crossing the line. He needs to let them know in no uncertain terms to back off.
tell your husband they go or you'll go!! you don't need to take that crap in your home and your husband should be taking your side!! man that sucks!!
Marriages dont survive with in laws living with them. Unless it is an elderly parent who needs assistance with living. I would tell them to move out and find a new place to live. Your husband should be the man and tell them himself, it is his family. But if he doesnt then you should. Get them out.
It usually never works out living in the same home as in laws. I would try my hardest to let it go unless you want a divorce. I know it stinks, but eventually, he will start to side with his family because ';blood is thicker than water,'; as the old saying goes. I would try my best to focus that anger onto something positive and try to never say anything bad about them in front of him. Find a trusted friend to confide in where they are concerned. Let him visit his family and so forth on his own, but don't let it come between you and your hubby. otherwise, they WILL have accomplished EXACTLY what they set out to do. The best revenge you can get on them is to let them see you move on (having let this go....takes a strong person and that will piss them off!) and be completely happy with your hubby and he with you. Good luck sweetie.
Why is he not okay with it? Is he scared that his mother will turn against him? She already turned against him when she started crap with you. That is your house, not hers! If she hasn't already, make her leave. You don't need a restraining order to accomplish that. Nicely pack all of her belongings up, and take them to whereever the sister-in-law is staying now( I am assuming that she isnt with you anymore since you served the restraining order). And if your husband doesnt like it, pack his crap up too! You are a grown woman trying to raise a family. You dont need that type of immature BS in your life. They obviously dont have a life of their own, and are trying to make you feel as crappy as they do, which is pretty crappy b/c they are basically dependent upon you and your husband for a roof over their heads. Dont let them take control over their life, because you HAVE control over theirs. Get them out of your house and your life, so you can go on with yours, HAPPILY!
YES YES YES!!!
Listen some of us have -in laws, others have outlaws-
This is YOUR life not theirs. They have no business putting their 2 cents in when it isn't asked for. Put your foot down and serve her as well. You don't need to be put in a situation like that EVER. As for the name calling, did I miss something? What is she 5? No one deserves to be treated like that, especially a child, and one with a disability to boot? HELL NO!
You need to stand up for yourself and your child. Your husband is being put in a very compromising position- All things aside, it is still his mother and that has to hurt him more then you can imagine. BUT he never said not to, he just said not to tell him about it.
You need to think safety, not family. Think about what will happen to that precious child of yours if something goes to far the next time. If your husband works are you willing to have the 2 morons take care of YOUR child? Think about what you are doing and look at every option before you make your decision. You are going to have to live with that the rest of your life.
And if things don't get better, stick a FOR SALE sign on the lawn and get the hell out and don't leave a forwarding address.
Because there is NO ONE that deserves to be treated like that, not you, not your husband, and DEFINITELY not your child!
Yes serve your MIL!! She is as guilty as the SIL and you need to keep them away from you and your children!
They need to move out of your house. Period. They have been there since 2005? This is unacceptable and it should be unacceptable to your husband as well. They have no right barging in on your life, commenting about your son, getting into your business in your own home. Honestly, honey, I'd have a serious talk with your husband and tell him, ';They need to be out of this house by month's end.'; And tell him you will no longer accept them living there, you will not deal with this uproar in your own home and the last straw was the awful comment about your son. That alone should make your husband himself want to ask them to leave. They are taking advantage of your home and they need to go! Good luck to you!
they should respect you ! they live in YOUR house, and that's the thanks you get? Screw them as hard as you can!!
As soon as they called my child a retard I am sorry it would have been me assaulting them as I shoved their free loading butts out the front door. It is time for you and your hubby to have a long heart to heart. I can see him not wanting his mother served with a restraining order but he has got to be willing to either set some boundries and enforce them or have them move, you and the kids have got to come first. Figure out what it is you can and cant live with and tell him and then have him tell his family what the rules are and if they cant follow them he would be happy to help them find another place. If he can not back you up on this then you will have to rethink the relationship and whether or not it is worth being with a man that can let his family treat you and innocent children this way.
Sorry just read your memo. If they do not live in the same house with you then just tell your hubby that it is his family and he deals with them and under no circumstances do you want them in your house as long as you and your children are at home. He can go see them all he wants but you do not wish to be a part of it anymore that they have hurt and insulted you one to many times. It sounds like your hubby wants to back you up but loves them to so sit down and work out a compromise that you can all live with.
Yes, serve both the MIL and SIL if not for any reason other then to put them on notice. That restraining order protects you and creates documentation that if it ever comes to physical contact again they can't hid from it.
As for the Comment about your child, that should have been the issue that set your hubby off. Tell him to get his stones from his mommas purse and support you. I can't believe it, he acts like what they did was ok.
You need to make sure that your child is protected from that kind of Verbal abuse at all costs. If hubby won't stand beside you and help you then get out now.
I don't think it will get much better unitl hubby puts MIL and SIL in their place. Expect that I am not sure if they are in a seperate appt or just in the same house but have own rooms but by letting them in for the last two years you can't evict them easily.
Get your ducks in a row and go. Find a new place to live and give hubby the option to come with or stay with MOMMMA.
YOUR CHILD IS #1,
Your SIL attacked you... not your MIL... So how can you serve someone that didn't do it...
As for me, I would show them the door. Let them find another place to stay. PERIOD.
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