Advice from previously married moms?

Was it hard to leave? Did you have a job prior to the divorce? Did you postpone leaving because you were afraid? Did you feel hopeless?





I need advice.Advice from previously married moms?
I didn't leave. One day I was married raising my family and the next day my husband walked out. I did have a job but the bills don't go down just because you only have one income now. Was I scared, oh hell yes I was frightened. I didn't know what I was going to do, or how I was I going to deal with the children. I mean my world was upside down this wasn't how my life was supposed to be. But I also knew that I had to be ok. My kids depended on me to keep them safe and healthy so I just did what I had to do. I faced each day one at a time until I got passed the hurt and fear. I grew up a lot and learned a lot about myself. I didn't know I could be that strong. But I was and I am healthy, happy and doing well.


Good Luck


RedAdvice from previously married moms?
No it wasn't hard to leave, he was abusive. I was very afraid, I didn't have a job or any money to support me and my then 4 year old son. My parents had a house that they rented out, lucky for me it was empty so I had some place to go. I felt very hopeless, I had to get welfare I felt like I had hit rock bottom. About 6 months later I got a job as a Christmas helper at UPS, I just celebrated 12 years there. I'm remarried to a wonderful man and my son is a healthy happy teenager who is a starting middle line backer on the football team, he wrestles and has a 3.5 gpa. Looking back is easy now on how hard it was but it was worth it.
It wasn't hard to leave, just hard to let go of. No, I didn't have a job, for 2 years because I was raising a little one. I felt hopeless because I didn't know how I was going to survive. My ex and I worked out spousal support and child support, I got a job a few months later. Eventually it all worked itself out, but it was emotionally hard. Today, I am remarried, and we are all good friends. So I guess it worked out for the better. I wish you the best of luck with your situation, if you want to chat, feel free to email me :) keep your chin up!
I wasn't married, but we'd been together for a while, had a son together and lived together. So I can give some insight, just without the marriage certificate.





I chose to leave when my son was a little over a year old. We just didn't work in a relationship together, I was very affectionate, he was not, etc. It was a very hard decision to make and to this day, my son still asks why daddy and I don't live together. I didn't think it would affect him that much because he was so young, I just figured he'd grow up with us living separately and wouldn't know any different. Boy was I wrong. I was scared--it was just me and a baby against the world. But I had a great job, got my own place, and just made it work. Worked out an excellent co-parenting situation with my ex, as well as who would pay for what (we wanted to avoid an expensive court battle and we did). We are now great friends and he is great friends with my fiance. We talk everyday and my son has a great relationship with his dad and with my fiance. One big happy family, you could say. LOL





It'll be fine. It will suck at first and take some getting used to, but just know that you WILL be fine. Feel free to email me if you need any support. I've been there and would be glad to help you through it.
I've left two marriages; I have two children. It's not easy, but sometimes necessary. I have always been self-sufficient. My first husband was verbally abusive and had anger management issues; was mean to my son (not his child) . . . children put you in survival mode! I left my second husband because he wanted to BE the man, but wasn't. He wanted me to give up my independence, take care of three kids (we are blended - - 2 mine/1his), the house, pay the bills, cook, clean, sex, be his cheerleader and life coach, wanted me to be submissive and on and on, yet he never GAVE of himself or supported me in anyway! Wore me the hell out!! Screwed up my credit and my finances and put his child before me and my kids instead of treating the kids equally! I was never afraid to leave, I was pissed. I didn't feel hopeless, HE DOES! He's at home with his momma! The sad thing is I love this man, yet I refuse to tolerate the bullcrap so we can't be together. I'll take the loss! Just my thoughts!
To be honest with you I was afraid to move on, thinking there is no way I can do this on my own with three kids but to be honest, its been three years and have looked back ever since. Yes you have your bad days. But it was best for both me and my girls to leave a situation that was not good for either of us. Good Luck in your decision.